Deeply Prepared People Create Their Own Weather

By Larry Wilson & Hersch Wilson, Authors of Play to Win

A few years ago, I went on a four-day adventure in the High Country wilderness of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains north of Santa Fe. We were divided into essentially two types of people. There were the “outdoor” enthusiasts who exulted in being in the mountains, and then there were the rest of us—grumpy city dwellers. As soon as we hit the trail and began moving up into forest, the city dwellers were hit by the realization that it was going to be uncomfortable—cold, rainy, and Mountains & birdswild. In front of us were the Truchas peaks, which we intended to climb. It had sounded like a great idea a month ago, but now they were shrouded in clouds and the rumble of thunder. They looked foreboding and unapproachable. We asked ourselves, “Why are we doing this? It’s going to be uncomfortable and even dangerous—why don’t we just turn back now and admit defeat?”

But encouraged and kept in good spirits by the outdoor folks, up we marched, farther and farther from the comforts of home. We arrived at our camp—a meadow under the sheer pitches of the Truchas Mountains. It was stunning…but our “home” was four makeshift tarps.

We soon discovered that in the mountains the weather rules and it is completely unpredictable. In our four days, it rained, snowed, hailed, we had winds that blew out the tarps . . . and we had a couple hours of sun.

Beyond the unpredictability of the weather—now it was sunny, boom, then it was hailing—were the reactions of the people. The city folks, myself included, got mad and complained loudly and bitterly about the event of the weather—the damp, the cold, and the “Oh, my God, it’s snowing!”  We had expected sunny weather, darn it! And we were mad that it wasn’t happening! We eventually found a bottle of tequila and retired to the driest tarp to commiserate.

The outdoors folks were quite different. When it rained, they put on ponchos; when it got cold and snowed, they put on more layers. When the sun came out, they stripped down to T-shirts and shorts and enjoyed the warmth on their bodies. The difference was that they were prepared, by training and experience, for anything.

What hit me was this: There is no such thing as bad weather, just unprepared people. The weather just happens; it is neither bad nor good, cruel nor pleasant; it just is. We interpret it as bad or good because of how it affects us, but in reality, weather is just weather. All we can really do is be prepared.

On our little wilderness adventure, the prepared people handled the weather with much more calm and creativity than the rest of us did. They were ready for almost anything. They didn’t remain upset when all of a sudden the tarps blew over; they solved the problem and got on with it. It was all an adventure to them. What would they learn this time? How far would their limits be pushed? What would they see? What would they experience?

And that is the clue. In the adventure of our lives, good things happen, bad things happen, and—boom—terrible things happen. In our lives we will each face choices that will pinetreesdetermine who we will become. We will all face the crises of living: pain, loss, death. The individuals with the best probability of responding with courage and creativity are those who are best prepared emotionally and spiritually. Prepared people can handle all kinds of weather; deeply prepared people see the weather as a challenge and as an opportunity to grow.

With work and thinking, we too can become deeply prepared for the rest of our lives. We can become so thoroughly prepared that we begin to positively influence what happens to us; we begin to create our own weather.

Think about it. Once we understand that we are here for a reason—that we are spiritual beings on a human path—then we can start making choices that lead us deeper and deeper into our true selves. We strike out on our own, we make those courageous choices that lead us in directions that we would never before have taken had we settled for just playing not to lose all our lives. As a result, we create our own weather.

When we understand that there is much less to avoid, much less to fear, when we see life as an opportunity to grow, we attempt more, we face more challenges, and we grow. As a result, we get emotionally and spiritually stronger and more like those experienced outdoors folks: prepared for almost anything, exulting in our lives, and creating our own weather.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Larry Wilson was an internationally recognized pioneer in change management, leadership development and strategic thinking, and is the co-author of The One-Minute Sales Person and Play to Win. He founded two companies, Wilson Learning Corp. and Pecos River Learning. Larry worked with companies to help them “create the organization that, if it existed, would put them out of business.” Larry passed on in 2009 and will be greatly missed, yet cherished through his books and articles for years to come. One of the things that Larry used to say was “Love your customers so much that they want to refer business to you since who can resist love?”

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order the books, Cracking the Personality Code and Cracking the Business Code, please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Leadership: How to Listen To Your Inner Compass

By Paul David Walker

Cause and Effect Moves With or Without You

The flow of cause and effect move events, stimulate ideas, and drive consumer wants and needs because everything is connected. This flow has a powerful momentum, and moves like the multi-dimensional currents in a powerful river. This force moves forward with, or without, our conscious compassinvolvement. We are all connected to it even if we are not aware of our connection. The more we are consciously in sync with what I call “The Life Force,” the faster, more targeted and powerful are our actions. Like an athlete “In The Zone,” we accelerate our performance with grace and ease.

Imagine how difficult life would be if you are not aware of these flows. Many of us are not. It would be like hiking through a wilderness fog without a compass. Even if you knew you needed to go North, you could not tell which way it is. Likewise, we need an “Inner Compass” to navigate within the flows of cause and effect that influence every moment of our lives, a way to understand where we are, and where the flow of history is going. But what is, and what is the practical use of, our inner compass? A story best illustrates.

What Is Your Inner Compass?

When I was working as a leadership consultant to Don Ross, Chairman and CEO of New York Life, during the summer of 1987, many people were coming to me questioning the Chairman’s actions. He had asked the investment department to slowly move all investments out of the stock market into conservative investments. This frustrated his investment team because the stock market was at an all time high and their competitors were using “High Yield Bonds” and stocks to create gains much greater than New York Life’s. They wanted to play in the game, and Don Ross was telling them to step back.

Many came to me, as Don’s coach, to suggest I persuade him of the foolishness of his actions. I explained that I was his leadership coach and had little knowledge of the financial markets, but encouraged them to speak directly to Don. However, no matter how people pleaded, he would not change course. Several key players resigned and went to more “progressive” companies.

In October of 1987, while I was on site at New York Life, the market crashed. It was the biggest crash since the Great Depression. But New York Life had moved most of its investments out of the stock market and had not invested in any “High Yield Bonds,” known later as “Junk Bonds.” Don Ross was now considered a genius. The financial gain was enormous.

A week or so later, I asked Don how he knew to pull all of the company’s investments out of the stock market three months before the October 1987 crash. He said, “I just knew it couldn’t last.” Everyone in his world thought he was wrong, yet he had the wisdom and courage to do what he felt was right.

Knowing the Difference

When I pressed him to tell me more, he went on to explain that, as Chairman and CEO, he was continuously bombarded with “experts” trying to convince him of completely different lady on compassstrategic directions. Each had incredible credentials and a good story, yet each recommended different directions. The only tool he had to make the final decision was his instinct, or intuition. He said, “Whenever I have gone against my intuition, I have regretted it.”

Don Ross explained to me, “The key to wisdom is to know the difference between your wild hopes and fears and common sense, intuition or true wisdom.” They often seem the same, but they are not. There is a distinct difference in the feeling. One comes from the Ego and insecurity, and the other comes from Wisdom. Great leaders learn the difference and, given this knowledge, develop the courage to act quickly. Don had found ways to live in the present like an athlete “In The Zone,” but with an easier more sustainable feeling I call “Integrative Presence,” or at least he was able to find that state of mind when he needed insight. When I met with him over the years, he was often in the state of Integrative Presence. He was warm, yet seemed to be able to see through people. Insightful, yet he moved with grace and ease.

Courage To Act

All the great leaders I have worked with know how to achieve the state of Integrative Presence, even though they may not understand the nature of this state of mind. They have experienced being connected to something that supercharges their own knowledge. They speak reverently about this connection in private, but rarely talk about it to the press. It just seems too outside the norm for stockholders and the public. But knowing and connecting to wisdom through Integrative Presence is essential for leaders in business today. Markets move quickly, often with little warning, and the wise leader can feel the moving currents. At each moment, like a surfer, the conscious leaders are so present they take advantage of trends as they emerge.

Know How It Feels

When I have asked people to describe how they feel when they experience being “In The Zone” or Integrative Presence, they say things like: confident, at peace, exhilarated, wavy road peoplepowerful, graceful, and present. Some report a slow motion effect as time slows. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar told how the five seconds he had to win the NBA championship with one shot seemed like five minutes. He felt relaxed, as if he had all the time in the world, yet he appeared to move like lightning to the rest of the world–the very definition of Integrative Presence. His creativity, within these few precious seconds, was nothing less than pure genius. He was integrating the skills he had learned over the years, his desire to make the shot, and the flow of the moment.

It Is A Natural State of Mind

As I have experienced and studied athletes in the zone or integrative presence. I have found that this state of mind, though not often reached, is a natural way of living. It seems we have lost touch with true presence overtime. Ironically, the art of getting into this state of mind is letting go of what we think we know. As you let go, this state of mind just takes over. You don’t need to train yourself to experience Integrative Presence, you merely need to “let go.” This state takes over your consciousness and supercharges your performance because it is in our nature to live this way.

Sports create highly charged environments. They are designed to bring out the best in people. But can this state be achieved outside this arena? Certainly, if these states of mind that seem to create super human results can be created in one area of life, they should be able to be created in others. While the environment is particularly right for this kind of performance in sports, it is not beyond or separate from this “real world” we all operate within.

The Present Is The Only Portal To The Future?

You might ask, “If you are in the present, “How do you create the future?” Here is my answer. Imagine the world is a dance floor and the rhythm and flow of the band is “The Life Force,” which infuses everything. The multidimensional flow of the band seems irresistible to some, yet others stand against the wall not knowing how to jump in, and many are not even aware of the dance. They have heard people talk about it, but can’t seem to hear or feel the flow of the music. Those who feel it deeply dance like gods and goddesses in the middle of the floor creating a vortex of energy and motion that draws new dancers into their circle.

The band, which represents “The Life Force,” naturally lures people onto the floor to dance in a rhythm and harmony that seems to come from outside them. Of those out on the floor, many dance out of rhythm most of the time, but have moments of grace. Others have a routine that they have worked out over the years which works for them, but only captures a small part of the rhythm. Some have a routine and experiment momentarily with new movements, but mostly go back to what they know. Those who feel the music deeply dance adding rhythms and counter rhythms and seem to be an extension of “The Life Force” that passes through the band.

Without knowing, many start to follow the waves of energy coming from the leaders and the overall quality of the dance improves. At some point in time, magic occurs. The beauty and energy of the lead dancers is so compelling that the band itself is drawn into the dance creating new rhythms and flows as the Life Force, the band, and the dancers join and create new realities.

Start With The Present Moment

“The Life Force” creates Life and Life influences “The Life Force,” just as the band creates the rhythm and flow and changes, because the lead dancers’ energy becomes dancingpart of the rhythm and flow. The only way to create the future is to engage, like the dancers, with the rhythm and flow of the present; and by doing so you become a co-creator. It is not about wishing and hoping as the popular book “The Secret” would suggest. The various rhythms and flows of business markets are subsets of the rhythm and flow of “The Life Force,” which animates everything. Both can be influenced in the manner just described. Great leaders have discovered and mastered this secret.

There Is No Substitute For Practice

The flow of market wants and needs is like the complex themes, harmonies, and rhythms in music. Your team must spend lots of time dancing with those rhythms to know how to influence the flow of the dance. Your team, products and services must dance first with the rhythm and flow of the present, then lead. There is no substitute for this kind of presence in your target market, and like dancing to a good band, or being in “The Zone” in sports, it is a blast! The energies of the market will feed you and your creativity will lead the flow of the market.

Your inner compass lets you know the difference between your thoughts about the flow of cause and effect, and the actual flow. We have to practice to know the difference between the feelings that come from our thoughts and ego and our natural wisdom. Knowing how to access our natural wisdom is the inner compass. Having this compass helps us walk with the wind of “The Life Force” at our backs and in our hearts.

Your Inner Compass & Hiringgear people

According to Dana Borowka, CEO of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC (www.lighthouseconsulting.com) and author of new book, Cracking the Business Code, creating a foundation for strong leadership requires the right people. Hiring the right people is key to future growth. If you would like additional information on hiring, please click here to see an article on this subject.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014 

Paul David Walker is a Senior LCS Consultant and one of the few CEO coaches who has worked with numerous Fortune 500 CEOs and their key staff members for over 25 years along with many mid-cap organizations. Some of the organizations that Paul has worked with include Star Kist Foods, Von’s Grocery Stores, New York Life, Anne Klein, Rockwell International countless manufacturing, global utilities, service and consulting organizations. Paul is the founder of Genius Stone Partners, and works with domestic and international companies to improve their bottom line today and planning for the future. Paul is the author of the best selling book, Unleashing Genius and his new book, Invent Your Future – 7 Imperatives for a 21st Century. You can reach Paul at Paul@lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order the books, Cracking the Personality Code and Cracking the Business Code, please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Why Meditation Improves Performance

By Paul David Walker

As business leaders we need to have a clear picture of present reality in order to make effective decisions. Meditation is a practice designed to clear the mind of stress and distortion, and allow you to experience present reality.

Over time our minds become filled with thoughts and beliefs that were placed there both consciously and unconsciously. We have defined experiences and recorded them as wavy star peoplebeliefs. Thought patterns have developed over the years, some of which are helpful and others are not. We are bombarded with ideas, advertising and images from TV and movies that stick in our memories. These thoughts often circle in our minds causing fear and stress.

All these thoughts and beliefs were filtered by our mood at the time we experienced them. If we are in a good mood, we tend to record a more positive message; if we are in a bad mood, it will be more negative. When we recall this information it is also filtered by our mood at the moment of recall. The bottom line is our mind is full of highly distorted information that is often conflicting.

Meditation helps to clear the mind and leave room in our consciousness to experience the reality of the moment. The flow of cause and effect is highly complex and, in order to be successful business leaders, we need to be able to see present reality with a minimum of filtering from the thoughts and images filling our minds.

When working with teams of engineers, I enjoy asking if anyone has invented a successful time machine. Of course, they always say no. Then I ask, “So you are certain that no one can travel to the past and the future?” They laugh and agree. Therefore, there is no reality outside of the present moment. The future is a speculation, and the past is what we have recorded in our memory or in writing, which is, as I said earlier, highly distorted.

Yet how much of the time do most leaders spend traveling to the past and the future in their mind? I would suggest, too much. The best leaders realize that being able to live in the present moment is the secret to both personal power and strategic advantage. They learn to see through false realities and connect with true reality.

An Example from Sports

After watching Florence Joyner win the hundred meter dash, the TV interviewer showed a super slow motion playback of her run. She was about equal with the field through the middle of the run, and then she leaped out way ahead of the field to win the race. The interviewer played the run again, and just as she put distance between her and the field, the interviewer stopped the tape and pointed to the screen and asked, “What happens right here?” Florence answered, “I just let go.”

She stopped thinking about the race and slipped into what sports coaches call “The Zone” and, of course, her performance accelerated dramatically. She was integrating all her training with the reality of the present. Being able to find your way into “The Zone” is critical for success as an athlete. Some respond to pressure by “clutching” and thereby reducing performance, and others slip into “The Zone.” Michael Jordan was famous for performing better under pressure, as are many successful athletes. As a leader, is this true for you? When the pressure is on, do you call for the ball?

Integrative Presence

Sports coaches realize that if athletes think too much about the past and the future, they will miss the reality of what is happening in the present. The future extends from the present, not from the cognitive frameworks in your mind. Those who can let go of their thoughts will find it easier to integrate their actions with present reality. In business, I call key to weatherthis “Integrative Presence.”

If an athlete can create this state of mind, so can a leader. If these states of mind that seem to create super human results can be created in one area of life, they should be able to be created in others. While the environment is right for this kind of performance in sports, it is not beyond or separate from the business world. The most effective leaders have mastered Integrative Presence.

Integrative Presence unleashes genius in any endeavor. Integrative Presence, as I define it, is collaboration with the natural flow that extends from the present integrated with the knowledge, intention and consciousness of an individual or group. Integrative Presence allows you to integrate all the realities of the moment simultaneously while combining them with your intention. Those who master this will Unleash Genius within themselves, and the people who follow them, to create new realities once unimaginable.

Business is much more complex than sports, but the state of mind that creates Integrative Presence is as important for leaders as it is for athletes. The best leaders are able to achieve this state at will. In a board meeting or when closing an important deal, the best leaders can be in the present while integrating their knowledge and all the events that are happening around them simultaneously.

The truth is anything can cause your conscious mind to let go of comparative thought and find Integrative Presence. It would be impossible to catalog all experiences people have had. What is important is to know the difference between the two states of mind. Meditation is a practice that will help you find your personal road map into this powerful state.

eye of lifeWhen I have asked people to describe how they feel when they experience “Integrative Presence” they say things like: confident, at peace, exhilarated, powerful, graceful, focused and present. Some report a slow-motion effect. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar told how the five seconds he had to win the NBA championship with one shot seemed like five minutes. He felt relaxed, as if he had all the time in the world, yet he appeared to move like lightning to the rest of the world–the very definition of “Integrative Presence.” His creativity, within these few precious seconds, was nothing less than pure genius. He was integrating the skills he had learned over the years, his desire to make the shot, and the flow of the moment, without interruption from his thoughts.

Most people have experienced this state of mind; the question is what percent of your life is spent in this state. The art of getting into this state of mind is letting go of thoughts and connecting with the flow of events in the moment. Meditation is practice for your mind and body. An athlete must practice their sport, a leader must practice disciplining their mind. Meditation is a time-tested form of practice.

There is no Substitute for Practice

As in sports, there is no substitute for practice. Knowing how to move from “normal thinking” into Integrative Presence comes from practice. Take time to connect with your peak experiences and observe how you transitioned yourself. Find ways to still your mental chatter and connect with the present, and you will become a much more effective leader and a happier person.

Meditation Technique

The following is a simple meditation technique that can help you clear your mind. It will help establish an inner road map to stillness, which allows you to flow with present reality.

1) The Right Environment: Find a quiet place and arrange to have no distractions or interruptions. A special place in your home or a place out in nature. It is especially important in the first stages of meditation to find a special place. It helps you move towards stillness naturally. Over time you will be able to meditate anywhere, at any time, even as you walk through hallways.

2) Sit Comfortably: You want your body to be at ease. Find a chair that is comfortable and sit up straight; be sure not to cross you arms or legs. Sitting up straight in a way that you will not have to move should one of your limbs fall asleep is important.

3) Three Deep Breaths: Take three deep breaths and hold the oxygen in as long as you can on each breath, and let the oxygen out suddenly once you can no longer hold the air.

4) Breathe Normally: Return to your normal breathing pattern. Close your eyes and put your attention on your breathing process. Follow your breath in and then out. Notice the rhythm and depth of each of your breaths. Spend 2-3 minutes just following your breath with your attention.

5) Imagine a Beautiful Place: Imagine yourself in a beautiful place in nature. Choose a favorite spot or create a spot that would be ideal for you. Each time you begin meditating come back to this place. It will serve as an anchor for peace and help you to relax each time. Once you have felt the peace of this place, use it as a background and return your attention to your breathing.

6) Let Go of Thoughts: As thoughts arise in your mind, do not resist them. Practice observing without processing, and then letting go of them. You can imagine them floating up happy jumping guyinto the sky or being absorbed by nature. As you let go return your attention to your breathing.

7) Deepen Your Breathing: Once you have found your natural rhythm increase the depth of your breathing. Inhale 10-15 percent deeper and exhale 10-15 percent deeper. Play with this deeper rhythm until it becomes natural. Continue to let go of thoughts as they arise.

8) Notice Stillness: Notice that at the moment you fully inhale, just before you exhale, there is a still point. Likewise, after you have fully exhaled, there is the same still point. One, the inhale, is full and the second, the exhale, is empty. Notice the difference.

9) Fall into Stillness: At times when your total focus is on this deeper breathing process, you will notice the stillness inside you. Let your consciousness fall into this stillness. Let go and don’t be afraid; it is your destination. Stay there as long as your ego will allow. It might take a number of sessions before you achieve this, but it is worth the practice and discipline.

10) Open Your Eyes: In about 20-25 minutes gently open your eyes without moving and notice the world around you. Notice your state of mind and journal your experience.

11) Take This State of Mind With You: Practice staying with this state of mind as you get up from your chair and walk, focusing on your breathing as before. Find a rhythm between your steps and your breath. Count how many breaths per step until you find a comfortable pace that is a little deeper than normal. This will help you begin to integrate this state of mind into your daily life.

12) Do Short Meditations: Once you have mastered this practice you will be able to take a few minutes to clear your mind between meetings or even with short pauses during meetings.

Meditation creates the same state of being that Florence Joyner and other athletes achieve when they are in “The Zone.” Your consciousness will deepen and widen and you will be able to perform more effectively. Remember, there is no substitute for practice.

As you continue to meditate, you will find the quality of your thought improving. You will have great ideas and find it easy to solve problems. Creating this space of stillness within you leads to Integrative Presence. Meditation is a powerful tool for those who are creating the future. It helps with idea generation and stress reduction. If you are a leader, you need both to be successful.

For more tips, please click here listen to our teleconference audio link.

Paul David Walker is a Senior LCS Consultant and one of the few CEO coaches who has worked with numerous Fortune 500 CEOs and their key staff members for over 25 years along with many mid-cap organizations. Some of the organizations that Paul has worked with include Star Kist Foods, Von’s Grocery Stores, New York Life, Anne Klein, Rockwell International countless manufacturing, global utilities, service and consulting organizations. Paul is the founder of Genius Stone Partners, and works with domestic and international companies to improve their bottom line today and planning for the future. Paul is the author of the best selling book, Unleashing Genius and his new book, Invent Your Future – 7 Imperatives for a 21st Century. You can reach Paul at Paul@lighthouseconsulting.com.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014 

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order the books, Cracking the Personality Code and Cracking the Business Code, please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Are You Lost in The Game of Life?

By Paul David Walker

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]H[/dropcaps]ave you ever wondered, “Is this as good as it gets?” Even though you are successful, does something seem missing? We buy new cars, homes, boats, clothes and jewels; but after a momentary thrill, that pointless empty feeling arises again.Find the cheese

We struggle to succeed, work all our life to be recognized and feel powerful or beautiful in the world, and often find that stress overwhelms our body and mind. We push through and reach our goals. Yet somehow, again after momentary thrills, we feel unsatisfied. Some pretend to be happy, not wanting to seem like a failure or disappoint their friends and family, but their face tells a different story.

I discovered years ago, while listening to a tape by George Pransky, that one of the reasons for this is that we have confused life with the game of life.

Life Itself

Eckhart Tolle said, “We are not living life, we are life.” Yet we seem to get lost in “The Game of Life.”

Life is moments of profound beauty. Life is looking into the eyes of a child, a moment by a river when everything seems to flow together, or when suddenly what seemed mundane now seems beautiful. It is moments of love where you feel deeply connected to someone, being “In The Zone,” or biting into a fresh sweet strawberry and responding with gratitude.

When we experience life itself, we feel peaceful and exhilarated at the same time. It is often a simple moment when what is coming up does not seem to matter, and yet you are fascinated with the arising of the next moment. When you can feel the love of a child or a parent, you are deeply living life. Its energy enters your being and you cannot help but smile with joy.

The Game of Life

The rules for the game of life are like the rules for tennis, basketball or baseball. They are not innate universal principles, like gravity, the need for water, sunlight to grow crops, and oxygen; we have just decided on them to create a game. In tennis inside the line is a point, outside the line is a point for the other person. Why? It is because we have decided. The rules change over time to improve the game. Likewise, each society in the world establishes rules to govern life within their countries. Each ethnic culture has developed norms of behavior. Like the rules of different games, they vary. If designed well, they will enhance life. But they are not life itself.

The River & The Game of Life

An example of this would be an ancient community that developed around a river that was fed by lakes in the high mountains. The community prospered, using irrigation to develop food production and trade. They developed a game of life that thrived off the river, and the innovations created by the game of life that evolved to meet the community’s needs. This is an example where the game of life was fed by life, which in this case was the river.

Biz winMany of these civilizations disappeared, because for one reason or the other, the springs in the lakes that fed the river could not support the growing demands of the civilization. The leaders became attached to their game, and did not notice the relationship of the game to the rivers ability to support the game of life that formed their civilization.

Likewise, an athlete who develops extraordinary physical skills playing a game has a deep level of enjoyment of life during play. However, many stay involved in a sport beyond their aging body’s ability to keep up with the game, some die and others are crippled. Why? It is because they have confused the game with life itself. They mistakenly assume that the game, not the life force, brought them the enjoyment.

When we lose touch with life itself, our ability to play in the game of life decreases, and like ancient river civilizations, the game of life can destroy our connection to life with terrible consequences.

While playing the game of life you may notice stress and difficulty increasing, yet because you are so attached to the game you cannot stop playing. You lose your connection to life itself and wither without knowing why.

Confusing Life & The Game of Life

The game of life we play in “Post Modern” society is much more complex than ancient civilizations or sports games. It is all pervasive. It seems to encompass the globe. We are part of a game that seems to have no boundaries. Most are not even aware that they are choosing to play a game. Many see the game as life itself, and this is where problems arise. In desperately holding onto the game of life, we lose touch with life. We become stressed, fatigued, depressed and angry. Something is missing. Our consciousness is focused on the game, rather than life, metaphorically, the springs that feed our life dry up, and then playing the game of life becomes more difficult. We lose contact with life, and hence, given “we are life,” we lose ourselves. We are lost in the game of life to the point of danger, and perhaps extinction.

Consciously Connecting With Life

In order to play the game of life well, we need to have practices that connect us with life itself. Without awareness that there is a difference between life and the game of life, it will be hard to take the time to drink from the natural springs that feed our life. So that is the first step to realize the difference.

The second step is to develop practices that help you let go of the game, and open your consciousness to the life giving energy of “The Life Force,” which is a multidimensional river beyond description. Meditation, walking in nature, yoga, listening to relaxing music, and many others similar practices can work. The key is to find ways to slow your thoughts about the game of life. As you do, life will naturally fill your consciousness and feed you, without which you will die, like a flower that is not watered, or a civilization whose river dries up.

There is No Substitute For Practicemeditation inspiration

Now you have an intellectual understanding of the difference between LIFE and “The Game of Life.” The thoughts shared here only point towards the experience of LIFE. In order to truly experience LIFE, you need to practice being present to LIFE. If you take time each day in a meditative practice, you will learn the difference. At first your head will be full of thoughts, but as you learn to let go of them, you will be conscious of LIFE instead of your thoughts about life. With practice, you will be able to be continuously conscious of LIFE every moment of the day. Your happiness will grow and what once seemed drab will be full of color.

Paul David Walker is a Senior LCS Consultant and one of the few CEO coaches who has worked with numerous Fortune 500 CEOs and their key staff members for over 25 years along with many mid-cap organizations. Some of the organizations that Paul has worked with include Star Kist Foods, Von’s Grocery Stores, New York Life, Anne Klein, Rockwell International countless manufacturing, global utilities, service and consulting organizations. Paul is the founder of Genius Stone Partners, and works with domestic and international companies to improve their bottom line today and planning for the future. Paul is the author of the best selling book, Unleashing Genius and his new book, Invent Your Future – 7 Imperatives for a 21st Century. You can reach Paul at Paul@lighthouseconsulting.com.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order the books, Cracking the Personality Code and Cracking the Business Code, please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Is This the Year to Fix Your Sales & Customer Service Problems?

By Rob Hupp

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]I[/dropcaps]t is another new year and company presidents and business owners are busy rolling out their plans and strategies. If you own or lead a business (or part of a business), answer the following questions about your operation:

[ws_table id=”21″]

Self Score: Your answers as indicated:

  1. For Question 1-5, 7 and 10, each ‘yes’ is worth 1 point.
  2. For Question 6, each ‘no’ is worth 1 point.
  3. For Questions 8 and 9, each ‘proactive’ is worth 1 point.
  4. Total your points and award a school style letter grade.biz football plan

If your score and letter grade are less than stellar, take some momentary comfort in the fact that you are not alone. Is this the year to expend some concerted effort and initiative working on sales and customer service? If faced with a production problem, an engineering challenge, or financial hurdle, these same presidents/owners are inclined to tackle the problem head-on until a solution (or at least solid plan for the solution) is in place. However in the world of sales and customer service, sometimes a sense of fatalistic resignation sets in and mediocre results beget more mediocre results.

Let’s be clear here. Increasing sales and retaining customers is difficult challenging work. That said, business growth and valuations are largely influenced by a CEO’s ability to grow sales over time. What are the biggest challenges CEOs face in growing sales? First, they must overcome their own widely-held self-limiting beliefs around fixing the problem. Second, they must address the five most common reasons they and their people struggle in this pursuit.

Reason #1 – Buyers have a system, sales people usually don’t.

Buyers have an effective system to deal with salespeople. The buyer’s system is designed to get as much information as possible and to keep them in control of the situation. This system turns sales people into unpaid consultants, leads them on until the buyer has all of the information he needs, and often results in the buyer using their proposals to negotiate better deals with the current supplier or a competitor.

So how do most sales people deal with the buyer’s system?

bizpeople on chessbdMost play right in to it. Many don’t use a systematic approach to selling and find themselves ‘winging it.’ They allow the prospect to take total control of the sales process. They eagerly:

  1. Give their information
  2. Make commitments without getting any in return
  3. Waste resources on pursuing deals that will never close
  4. Make unneeded concessions
  5. Misinterpret the ubiquitous “I’ll think it over and get back to you” as a future sale
  6. Lose deals to competitors with strong sales people

The Solution?

A non-traditional approach to selling that provides a system that everyone 100% buys in to. The system should balance both the buyer’s and seller’s interests.

Reason #2 – Spending too much time with prospects who will never buy.

A sales manager recently evaluated two of her reps like this:

“Gary spends too much time with non-buyers, and gets too involved in non-productive activities. One root cause of this behavior is that he doesn’t ask the tough questions.”

“Amy is strong with users, but both she and Gary have lost deals because our competition has contact and influence at the CEO and Executive Director level, and they do not.”

Why is this true?

First, sales reps won’t ask the hard questions up-front for fear of making their prospects angry. Second, prospects don’t like to say no. They go to great lengths to avoid a direct ‘no.’ Third, sales people don’t get to real decision-makers. Instead most salespeople spend time with “comfort people” who are easier to get in front of, and with whom the salesperson is more comfortable talking.

Fact: 60% of a salesperson’s time is spent in front of people who will not or can not buy their product or service.

The Solution?

Sales reps need the tools to separate tire-kickers from buyers and an approach to obtain executive access and sponsorship early in the sales cycle. Learn to qualify your prospects out, not qualify them in. The top producers learn to ask the hard questions up-front, to save resources for real opportunities, and realize “NO” is an acceptable response from a buyer. “Going for the NO” requires a tremendous paradigm shift for most sales people, but it can take all the pressure off the rep and increase his productivity. The prospect is also a beneficiary, because it makes the process feel more like buying than being sold.

Reason #3 – Product training is over-emphasized, product knowledge misused, and selling becomes presenting.

Most training for sales personnel focuses on product knowledge. In fact, 80% of training provided for direct sales people and channel partners is product-oriented. Sales people, once filled with product features and benefits, are eager to share this information. The focus then becomes totally on the product or service, and not on the buyer and his problem, where it belongs.

The Solution?

Provide a systematic approach to selling so salespeople can lead the sales process, help buyers clearly define their problems, and co-build solutions that exactly fit their needs. Product knowledge is important, but how it’s used at each phase of the buying process is key.

Reason #4 – Lack of sufficient prospecting.

bizman exploring tunnelAll professional salespeople will eventually be faced with a bout of call reluctance. You know the story – they have so much paperwork on their desk they can’t possibly find the time to prospect for new business or they’re so busy calling on existing customers (who incidentally aren’t buying anything) there’s no way they could add any new appointments. Sound familiar?

The Solution?

A fresh approach to prospecting using tools and techniques to fill the pipeline with quality opportunities. Greater effectiveness and success leads to even more success. Nothing motivates professional salespeople like winning.

Reason #5 – Salespeople – and the leaders they work for – don’t treat sales as a profession.

Professionals like doctors, lawyers, engineers, consultants, educators, and CPA’s all have one thing in common – they went to school to learn what they needed to start their careers and they attend continuing education to maintain and increase their proficiency. Salespeople often lack formal education in selling skills and ongoing continuing education. How many salespeople are continually seeking new ways to increase their skills? How many have the attitude, “I’ve been selling for years, what more can I learn?”

This is a problem sales people can’t remedy on their own. Management must be supportive of investing the time and resources needed for salespeople to acquire, develop and retain critical selling skills.

The Solution?

Like top professional performers in any field, the top 20% of salespeople (and the business leaders they work for) look for ways to sharpen their skills to gain the fine edge that leads to consistent positive results.

By applying proven solutions to these common problems, it is possible to change how one sells and services and thereby achieve more consistent business results. This is not a quick-fix. It requires a level of commitment, investment and guidance to implement successfully. Is this your year to address your sales and customer service challenges?

Final Thoughts

According to Dana Borowka, CEO of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC (www.lighthouseconsulting.com), hiring the right people is key to future growth. If you would like additional bizman walking tallinformation on raising the hiring bar, please click here to see an article on this subject.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014

Rob Hupp is President of Roth|Hupp Growth Partners, Inc., a business development consulting firm specializing in helping organizations and individuals increase their revenues through more effective sales and management practices. Rob can be reached at 310.890.3704 or via e-mail at rhupp@rhgp.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code” please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Building Self-Esteem: Taking it one day at a time

By Ellen W. Borowka

Here is an adage to consider: “It’s not what you are that is holding you back, it’s what you think you are not.”

Many people, regardless of their background, education and such, wonder occasionally, “What is my purpose? Why am I here?” These are important questions. We all want to feel needed and that we bring vital qualities and talents to the world. Yet, it is also hard when we don’t feel we have much to offer. It is easy to think of life as a daily struggle, and the world as just a place to survive. We can get to the point where we just try to get through the day, and we forget to fully live life. Music legend John Lennon once said, “Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” So, what plans are we allowing to get in the way of life? And how do we want to change so we can enjoy life more?

Lose That Excess Baggage

Many times, what gets in the way of enjoying life is a lack of trust in ourselves as well as a poor self-image. As we go through life, we usually pick up some baggage and that can really weigh us down. We can start to carry a great deal of anger, disappointment and false beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. Some of those false beliefs can include: “I’m not good – smart – pretty/handsome – special – perfect enough;” ”There’s something wrong with me;” “I don’t deserve good things or people;” “I’ll always fail at what I do;” “I’m just lucky when I succeed;” “I need something or someone to be ok;” “I have to be right – perfect – good … always;” “It’s someone else’s fault for my problems;” “It’s hopeless;” “I can’t trust anyone;” ”I have to save/help others at my own expense;” and “I must always come first.” Of course, this is only a partial list of some of the ghosts that can haunt us through each day. In the words of the late author and motivational speaker Zig Ziglar, “That’s just stinkin’ thinkin’.”

What Gets In The Way

What obstacles get in the way of making changes and growing through our issues? I recently saw a segment on 60 Minutes that looked at an old psychological study on prison life (known as the Stanford Prison Experiment), where college students enacted a fake prison with some as prisoners and others as the guards. While this study is controversial, what was interesting was that both the prisoners and guards forgot who they truly were. They almost immediately embodied the roles they were given. The guards became abusive and cruel, while the prisoners felt trapped and hopeless. In fact, the college students never realized that they could or should stop the abusive interactions during the study. They forgot they had an option to refuse to continue their roles. While there may have been some personality tendencies for the students involved to be abusive or submissive, this example shows how we can easily take on the characteristics and beliefs of the environment. We can get conditioned to give up, feel trapped and stop trying. We can even forget who we truly are and embody qualities from the situations we grow up and live in. Yet, we usually have choices, even when those choices are hard. As someone once told me, when a door slams shut, look around for an open window – another open possibility. So, what are some steps to making changes? What can we do to break out of that prison?

Tips For Building Self-esteem, One Day At A Time

Here are several tips for building self-esteem:

Manage the emotions – anxiety, hurt, disappointment, guilt, and anger – and don’t let them take control.  It is hard to try something new or make changes if we allow our emotions to dominate. That does not mean we ignore the emotions, but to work through them. For example, if you have a hot temper then be sure to take timeouts and do not allow yourself to say something in anger. Better to say nothing then to destroy, once again, a relationship you care about. If you struggle with high anxiety, then get support to face difficult situations and take small steps to making changes. Writing, drawing, making collages, or discussing problems with others are good ways to managing emotions. There are also many good self-help books on this subject, so choose what feels right for you.

Be honest with yourself about flaws in yourself and others. Look at your part in those problem situations and what you could do differently. Chip away at the old behaviors and find small ways to change. An example could be pleasing others to control them. You could learn to be more direct for what you want or need. Or rationalizing one’s moodiness where instead you could develop guidelines for minimizing the moods and how they impact others.

Be the best you can be to yourself and others. As “Dear Abby” advice columnist Abigail Van Buren once said, “The best index to a person’s character is (a) how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and (b) how he treats people who can’t fight back.” It is extremely easy to be loving and kind to those who are loving back or can give us something we want or need. A good way to be our best is to look at our motives. What do we want out of the situation? What is driving us?

Find a balance between work, relationships and private time and do not allow just one to dominate. Many people depend so heavily upon their work or relationships to define who they are. It is important to expand our horizons by nurturing all aspects of our lives, whether developing a hobby, going to a play, or taking a community college class. We need to be able to feel more comfortable with ourselves when we are alone, with others or at work.

Let go and forgive resentments, anger, and betrayal because it is vital for healthy relationships and a healthy self. It can be extremely hard to forgive, but carrying hate and sorrow is pretty damaging to the soul and body. Many people keep score on what others do or do not do in their personal and business relationships. This is very destructive and only deepens the wounds. Regardless of the offense, eventually it is necessary to let go and forgive.

Forgiving and accepting yourself with all your perceived imperfections. Constantly beating yourself up for your weaknesses is not going to help you to become a better person. It sounds like an old cliché to say to love yourself more, however that is exactly what we must strive to do every day. Some people have not grown up in homes where we have learned to love ourselves. Quite to the contrary, we learn how to obsess on our flaws. That needs to be changed and there are ways to show love to ourselves. One way is to take one weakness a week and make it ok to have that weakness. Strive to replace each self-criticism with a loving positive statement to yourself. For example, if you are overweight – learn to be more supportive to yourself. If a friend had a similar problem, how would you talk to that friend? Probably more caring and loving then how you talk to yourself. Strive to balance out the obsessions of the negatives with accepting statements.

Explore and discover why you do what you do. Ask yourself questions to gain more insight. For example, after an upsetting situation, ask yourself what really upset you about what happened and keep asking until you get to the bottom line. You may be surprised why something or someone really bothered you. Seeking support may be needed to help gain new perspectives and ideas.

These are just a few ideas to help with the healing process so we can learn to trust in ourselves more and improve our relationships. If you get stuck working on an issue, do not hesitate to turn to others to work through the problem. Support from friends, family, clergy, and counselors is very helpful in overcoming our obstacles.

Learning To Fly

Finally, here is a story that expresses how we forget to trust our natural talents and qualities. We have a sweet cockatoo that struggles with the need to fly and her lack of trust in her natural flying abilities. She seems to both like and dislike this activity. When we pick her up, she tries to avoid this subject by running up to our shoulders. That way we cannot hold her up to see if she would like to fly. However, many times she will take off suddenly and fly quite gracefully. Afterwards, she always sternly squawks at us as if to say, “How could you let me do that? You know I can’t really fly!”

So, I leave you with this thought: How often do you convince yourself that you cannot fly, when you really can? To quote what President Abraham Lincoln said 160 years ago: “Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” The same can be said for self-esteem. Happy flying!

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2021 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, Santa Monica, CA, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires and staff development. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching, and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication, stress and time management, leadership training as well as our business consulting for higher productivity. Our team of inter-disciplinary specialists are ready to help raise the effectiveness of critical functions in your organization such as sales, customer service, operations, and IT.

Ellen Borowka, MA, Senior Analyst and Co-Founder of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC, constantly remains focused on the mission statement: “To bring effective insight to your business.” Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC does this through the use of in-depth work style and personality assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching, and offer a variety of workshops such as team building, interpersonal communication, and stress management. Ellen has more than 20 years of data analysis and business consulting experience and is the co-author of the books, Cracking the Personality Code, Cracking the Business Code, and Cracking the High-Performance Team Code. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

 

Managing Your Anger

By Ellen Borowka

Anger is a big problem for many people. It’s a very powerful emotion. We see that in the destructive ways some people handle their anger. From violent crimes to domestic violence to everyday home and work situations, anger is very unpredictable. It seems to explode almost out of nowhere. So, it’s not surprising then that we have almost an instinctive fear of anger.man kicking computer

First, it may be helpful to understand that anger is not the same as violence or rage or being out of control. For example, when someone explodes with anger, this is just one way – a destructive way – to deal with one’s anger. And there are many other equally unhealthy ways, but none provide the satisfaction we hope for. Anger is simply one of our basic emotions, just like joy and sadness. If we start by thinking of emotions as neither good or bad then we can change how we interact with our anger. What is important is how we do or don’t express anger. That is what gets us into trouble.

It’s helpful to get a sense of what anger is all about. One definition is that anger is a strong passion or emotion of displeasure that is excited by a sense of injury or insult. So, there is usually an element of hurt involved in anger. Injury and anger are the two sides of the emotional coin: We seldom feel angry without also feeling hurt (insulted, injured) to some degree, and we seldom experience hurt without feeling anger (displeasure, hostility, and irritation). The same can be true of fear, fear ties closely to anger just like hurt. One reason for this is that one can feel weak and powerless when feeling hurt or fearful, whereas one usually feels powerful and strong through anger. So, anger seems to be an easier emotion to tolerate.

Another definition describes anger as a strong surge of feeling marked by an impulse to outward expression and often accompanied by complex bodily reactions. Anger is so insistent to be expressed that if we do not voluntarily express it in healthy ways, the emotional system will make endless attempts to express it in any possible way, including destructive and painful ones.

There are many different ways people deal with their anger, which are very unhealthy. The following are some of those ways:

Unfocused Anger: This is when we take our anger out on whoever or whatever is nearby. It’s the classic “kicking the trashcan because you’re mad at your spouse” maneuver. People may do things like beat up their car or yell at their secretary when actually they are mad at someone else. This kind of anger gets passed along too, like when the husband yells at the wife, who yells at the kids, who yells at the family pet.

Suppressing Anger: Another unhealthy way to deal with anger is when we stuff it down, bury it or mask it with other emotions. Suppression doesn’t complete the anger and in fact, seems to put the whole emotional system in a state of suppression. Our emotions don’t operate independently of other emotions, any more than our organs function in isolation from each other. So when we suppress one emotion, then we suppress them all to some extent. When we suppress our anger, it may feel like it’s gone, until something triggers the memory of the incident that is the source of the stored anger. Then the anger comes to the surface in full force until we can bury it again.

Anger Filter: When we store up anger, this can become a filter between us and the outside world, which colors everything as hostile and scary. We begin to see the world as cold and unfriendly where we have to guard ourselves against others. This filter also distorts our messages to the point where others hear our anger more than our love or support. This filter acts as a wall that alienates us from others.

Anger Wants Out: No matter how much we bury our anger, it will find a way to come out. It may create a physical illness like ulcers or a mental one like depression, guilt or a form of fear. Somehow it will dig its way out.

Parental Influences: Just like many other things in our lives, our style of anger was shaped and formed by different influences, and being able to see those influences helps us to change our style. One influence is our family. Most of us learn our emotional responses from our parents. We start learning ways to act and react when we are very young. We may copy our parents’ and others’ behavior. If Dad yelled alot or Mom bottled up her anger or Grandpa was always irritable, we may think this is how people deal with their anger and we may do likewise. If we were taught that anger is bad then we may deny our anger. Or we may look at how our parents handled anger and decide to respond in an opposite way, but not necessarily a much better way.

So, now that we have a better understanding of our anger, it’s helpful to become more aware of what triggers it and how we can handle it. The first exercise looks at the current people climbing mountainsources of anger and how we express it. Make three columns, title the first column,”What I’m Mad About…”, the second, “The Way I Show My Anger”, and the third column, “Why Do I Feel So Angry” then make a list under each. In the third column, consider what is going on underneath the anger. You probably feel hurt, what’s underneath the hurt? What expectations and needs are being neglected?

The second exercise is to help you to explore what anger is to you. Write at the top of a piece of paper, “Anger is…” then list out your beliefs, perceptions, and concepts you have about it. What you believe about anger will impact how you deal with it. If you believe that one should never, ever lose one’s temper, then that will influence how you express or suppress your anger. Next, look at where you learned these beliefs and your style of expressing anger. Explore the roots of your anger and hurt by asking yourself, “What does this situation remind me of from my past?” If we feel betrayed by a friend, perhaps someone from the past has done something very similar. Past anger and hurt usually fuels current anger and hurt.

Now that you have explored your anger, what do you want to change about it? Write some things you want to change and make a list of small steps to make the change you want. Implement the first step and continue with that until you feel ready for the next one. Some small steps might include taking 30 minute timeouts, walking around the block, and writing, drawing or sculpting your anger out. The last step continues your exploration of anger, which helps to manage it. Journal or use clay, paints or collage to create a picture of your anger. Always seek support and a realistic perspective from friends, counselors or clergy when dealing with difficult situations.

I have found the following quote to be very helpful in understanding anger, “…if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another…” – Galatians. Don’t let anger take over and devour all that is good in your life. When we let anger consume our lives, then we lose the essence of life.

This article contains some modified concepts from “Freedom from Anger” by Dr. Roger Daldrup and Dodie Gust.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Ellen Borowka, MA, Senior Analyst of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC and her organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your organization”. They do this through the use of in-depth work style assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. They also have a full service consulting division that provides domestic and international interpersonal coaching, executive onboarding, leadership training, global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training, operational productivity improvement, 360s and employee surveys as well as a variety of workshops. Ellen has over 15 years of data analysis and business consulting experience and is the co-author of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

Do You Worry?

By Paul David Walker

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]S[/dropcaps]tudies show that most things we worry about never happen. Is this because the worry prevents bad things from happening, or is it just a waste of energy? My first wife always said to me, “I have to worry for both of us.” If worry was an indicator of future events, worry would be more predictive than it seems to be. Certainly, people who worry a lot do not seem happy and often suffer from stress. But are they all saving us from tragedies with their collectiveglobe on man worries?

Can Worry Become A Death Spiral?

Worry is a pattern of circular thoughts focused on a particular event or possibility that makes us anxious. We believe that something might happen in the future, like losing our jobs, and we think about that possibility over and over again. These circular thoughts fill our consciousness and we feel more and more stressed. Our state of mind deteriorates and in some cases nervous breakdowns occur. What happens is our consciousness narrows to focus on a worry and filters out everything else, including pleasant sensations that come naturally with day to day living, like a beautiful morning. Additionally, since we seem to have a need to be right about our thinking, we actually begin to select things that prove our worries are justified. We become taken-up by a worry death spiral.

What Are We Missing Because of Worry?

Since our consciousness narrows and becomes invested in being right about our worries, we miss most everything else. We often fail to connect with the people in our lives who are most important to us. A beautiful day seems dark. As the pattern of worry sets in, even wonderful events in our lives bring on the feeling of impending doom, with thoughts like: this can’t last, this is the quiet before the storm, I don’t deserve this. We also are so focused on our worries that obvious solutions to our problems are overlooked as they appear. We go to work in a bad mood and people wonder what is wrong with us. Someone, maybe our boss, might start to become concerned about our attitude, which may lead to a layoff. Then our mind will say to us, “See you were right to worry, you just did not worry hard enough.”

How Can You Stop Worrying?

The first step in letting go of worry is realizing that thought at best is only an approximation of reality, and at worst can drive you crazy. As a poet, I often try to inspire people by describing the deep beauty of the world we live in, but even with my skill with words it is still just an approximation of the beauty I experience. For example:

reaching for starIt seems to me that there is a deep intelligence within the formless that expresses itself in form. You can call it: The Flow of Heaven, The Life Force, The Grace of God, Divine Intention, The Great Intelligence, The Great Spirit or Natural Intelligence.

This intelligence is continuously expressing itself in form. Everything we see around us has arisen from this intelligence: the trees, flowers, oceans, fishes and, yes, each of us as human beings. We are an expression of creation. This “Great Intelligence” is woven into every fiber of our being and drives life itself. It is always there within you and all around you. If you are consciously aware of this reality, your entire being shines from within and your thoughts are filled with joy and wonder. Collaborating with this intelligence, which literally pulsates within you, creates thoughts and actions that we call an expression of genius.

I can tell you that after years of practice as a writer, though these thoughts may inspire you, it is only an approximation of our perceptions. Realizing that thoughts are only an approximation of reality will change the way we deal with them. If thoughts, like the above, inspire you to higher levels of consciousness and happiness, then they are useful, yet only an approximation. If, like worry, they narrow our consciousness and create stress, then they are useless, if not harmful. Just like you naturally pull your hand from a flame when you feel the pain, learn to let go of thoughts that create psychological pain. As we move our consciousness from our thoughts, natural beauty and grace fills us. We don’t have to do anything but let go of our thoughts and we will begin to feel great. It is nature’s, or creation’s, way of directing us … and yes it is that simple! Try it… test it out for yourself.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Paul David Walker is a Senior LCS Consultant and one of the few CEO coaches who has worked with numerous Fortune 500 CEOs and their key staff members for over 25 years along with many mid-cap organizations. Some of the organizations that Paul has worked with include Star Kist Foods, Von’s Grocery Stores, New York Life, Anne Klein, Rockwell International countless manufacturing, global utilities, service and consulting organizations. Paul is the founder of Genius Stone Partners, and works with domestic and international companies to improve their bottom line today and planning for the future. Paul is the author of the best selling book, Unleashing Genius and his new book, Invent Your Future – 7 Imperatives for a 21st Century. You can reach Paul at Paul@lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order the books, Cracking the Personality Code and Cracking the Business Code, please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Are Your Salespeople the Issue or is it Something Else?

By Patrick McClure – Excerpt from the book, Cracking the Business Code

I once knew of a company that seemed obsessed with coming up with “Next Year’s Plan.” Every year, the key sales and marketing managers were called in and told that they had to put together “The Plan” for next year, and that it was critical this be completely done and ready to announce to the troops Bizpeople with large paper rollby the end of December. The revenue targets needed to be in place, the organization should be finalized, accounts and territories completed, the bonus plan approved, and everything must be ready to “rock n’ roll” so they could get off to a fast start in the coming year.

Something was missing, I thought. What about the year we’re just completing? Shouldn’t we take a long hard look at what we got right, and where we fell short? Shouldn’t we take a pause, look deeply into our performance, and critically evaluate our performance before we dash willy-nilly into planning for the future?

Fortunately, wiser heads prevailed and this company, a leading technology firm, decided to perform a thorough analysis and because of what they learned, were able to chart a much more accurate path into next year’s sales success. What about your company?

The Seven Step Sales Diagnosis Plan & Sales Performance Assessment

Here’s an easy-to-use template to follow in conducting an analysis of how you performed last year. You can focus this analysis on sales and/or marketing, or you can use it to analyze other departments or the entire company. If completed thoroughly, it will provide valuable insights, which can be used when building your next year’s sales plan or adapting your current one.  Later in this article, you will be able to take a sales performance assessment.

1. Sales Objectives for Year ______ and How Many Were Achieved

These are the “big picture” goals and objectives that you established at the beginning of the year, and they were targeted to be accomplished during this year. Some examples might be:

•  “To Grow Revenue in the Southwest Region by 25%”
•  “To expand our sales team by adding two new Sales Executives”
•  “To open a new office in New York”
•  Go through the list and check off which were achieved and you’re done!

2. Sales Quota/Targets for Year ______ vs. Actual Performancebizman shoot arrow at targets

This is where you examine your actual sales numbers and compare them to your targets. There are dozens of programs to conduct sales analysis, and you should have ready access to these figures. At a minimum, you should evaluate the following:

•  Total Sales Revenue Achieved as a % of what was assigned
•  Total sales by rep/region versus what was assigned
•  Comparison of these sales results to the past five years’ results
•  Amount of Revenue from new accounts versus total revenue (Growth)
•  Key Sales Ratios:

    1. # of inquiries that convert to qualified opportunities (% qualified)
    2. # of qualified opportunities that closed (the closing ratio as a %)
    3. Average order amount
    4. Average time to close an order
    5. How many opportunities are in the pipeline?

Of course, you can spend a lot of additional time digging deeper into these numbers, but the above will give the management team a good snapshot of sales performance and results.

3. Highlights for the Year

This is a review of the highlights of the previous year or planning period with particular attention paid to any strategic achievements. Included here would be key achievements and a brief explanation of why they occurred, i.e., number of new accounts, new business vs. sales to existing customers, improvements in recurring revenue, changes in client size, wins vs. competition, market share, etc.

4. Lowlights for the Year

The next part reviews the lowlights of the previous year. Included here are the key shortcomings and a brief explanation of why they occurred. While this section can be “painful” to review, it has the benefit of helping focus on areas offering potential for improvement and frequently points to areas that, once improved, offer significant payback.

5. SWOT Analysis

The next section is a SWOT Analysis. It details strengths, weaknesses, risk assessment (threats), and opportunities for the coming year. Given the highlights, lowlights, and challenges you are facing, where are the best opportunities for you to focus on in the coming year.

An example of a SWOT analysis for a small manufacturing company:

Strengths

Weaknesses
• Custom manufacturing excellence • Lack of marketing & advertising
• Management team experience • No sales management
• Experts in industry • Management conflicts and churn (lack of stability)
• Products built to last forever • Weak sales volume
• Engineering excellence • Minimal lead generation
• Loyal staff • Lack of CRM, accountability
• Strong customer base • Weak manufacturing economy

Opportunities

Threats
• Rebranding • Lack of funds to travel
• Capturing new markets • Brand not visible in marketplace
• Increased marketing and social networking to     drive leads • Competition
• Develop outsourced services • Morale problems due to low production and revenue
• Increase service revenues, support contracts, upgrades, spares • Uncertain economic conditions
• Excess capacity to utilize • Not a full service solution set
• Not keeping pace with technology

6. Top 3 Problem Areas to Fix

Given the above analyses, it should become evident where the problem areas might be. In the sales arena, you would look for where the biggest LOSS of customers/prospects occur, or where the sales team is most challenged. For example, you might find that your salespeople are excellent at presenting their product/services, but they may be weak at finding and developing new business. Or, the challenge for your team is weakness in handling common objections, resulting in failure to close sales. There are a myriad of potential problems; you are looking for the “top 3” that, if fixed, will result in huge improvements in performance.

7. Top Three Opportunities for Growth

On the plus side, you should also uncover some “silver bullets” that will allow you to rapidly grow your business and capture market share. One of my clients learned that they were not bizwoman watering bldgssending copies of invoices from inside sales to their outside sales reps, thus creating confusion among their customers and losing potential upside business. They were sitting on $2 million in potential business locked away in file cabinets at headquarters, and they didn’t even know it!

Take advantage of this time, right now, to highlight your top three biggest growth opportunities.  Later on, you’ll develop sales strategies and campaigns to take advantage of these high-potential areas.

Patrick is offering complimentary 30 minutes over the phone to provide a sales operations assessment to identify likely root causes of sales productivity issues with at least three actionable ideas. You will discover critical problem areas, recognize underlying causes of these issues, learn at least three new ideas to implement and begin a plan of action. To learn more, email patrickm@lighthouseconsulting.com.

Patrick McClure is a Master Sales Coach, expert in Selling Across Generations and a Sr. Sales Consultant for Lighthouse Consulting Services: – Over the past 30 years, Patrick has trained salespeople and managers to drive breakthrough sales results using innovative and practical techniques. He has a knack for reducing the most complex problems to utter simplicity and showing his audience exactly how start winning new clients. During his corporate career, Mr. McClure sold over $250 MM worth of products and services at corporate giants such as IBM, Hitachi Data Systems, EDS and Digital Equipment. He is a black-belt master at selling complex business solutions to C-Level executives, and today he will share his secrets with small companies hoping to crack into the Fortune 1000. As the author of 3 books on selling, Patrick passionately and patiently serves up his wisdom to readers, clients, and audiences. He caters to both small and large firms seeking to close more business. You can contact Patrick at patrickm@lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, Santa Monica, CA, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style & personality assessments for new hires & staff development. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication, stress & time management, sales & customer service training and negotiation skills as well as our full-service Business Consulting Division. To order the books, “Cracking the Personality Code”, “Cracking the Business Code” and “Cracking the High-Performance Team Code”, please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2023

Success at Work Starts with Understanding

By Ellen & Daniel Borowka – Excerpt from Cracking The Personality Code

Have you ever looked carefully at a seed? It’s really amazing to see what is in a little seed. This may help us to learn more about what is inside of us and those we work or live with. For in some ways, we are much like the seed and its growth process.

A seed is made of an embryo, that is, a baby plant that has all it needs to grow, develop, and blossom into what it was created to be. The embryo has the materials to develop its leaves, stems, and roots to gather needed nutriments from water, light, minerals, and such to produce food and pro-vide support for itself. That’s what we’re like when we’re born. We have all we need to be who we were created to be—all the unique qualities, talents and knowledge that is needed in the world.

The Seed and the Pod

Now the seed has another part that it needs for its growth, and that’s its seed covering or pod. The pod provides protection, support, and nutrition to the seed during the growth process. It provides food for the seed until it can produce food on its own, and protects it from harsh elements in the environment. We also have something similar to the pod in our lives to help protect our seed from harm and support it during our growth process. We tend to look at the seed and pod in much like our true and false selves. The true or real self, like the seed, is the life-giving core of our being. The real self holds all the beauty and light of whom we are—it is the soul of the individual. The true self also has our entire real feelings and thoughts, feelings, and thoughts that may not be acceptable to those around us.

This is where the pod or our false self enters the scene. Like the pod, the false self protects and hides the real self from harsh elements of the environment. The false self responds to the demands, beliefs and possible abuse from our parents or caretakers, family, siblings, peers and other places and people that impact us as we grow. The false self takes on the mistaken beliefs, misguided directions, and sometimes harsh treatment we experience as we are growing up so our true self is never touched. The false self or pod becomes our mask, our facade to the outside world, to conceal and defend our true self, our little seed.

The Pod within Us

The pod, as we become older, begins to be written on by all the things we are told: all our experiences—bad and good—and all the wounds we gather throughout our life. Our pod may have written on it that we are worthless or bad or stupid. We may believe that we are good at certain things, but bad at other things like math or communication. We may think we should not show anger, fear, or pain to others. We may believe that people are not to be trusted or that confrontation is bad. There are many beliefs and ideas that our pod or false self takes in and learns from others. Some might not like the false self, because they think it keeps them from their seed. Actually, though, the pod has kept our seed safe until the time is right for the growth process. Once again, the seed’s growth process can help us to understand our own growth process, our discovery of ourselves.

Preparing for Growth

The seed will only grow and break through the pod when the environmental conditions are right, when there is just the right amount of warmth and moisture present around the seed. If the environment is too dry or has unfavorable temperatures, then the seed will not come out of its pod. This allows the plant to survive during periods when plant growth is not possible. It’s the same for us! Our seed, our real self, is wise and does not allow itself to be in an environment that cannot support it or care for it. So, the seed waits until the time is right—until we are ready and able to have the support, internally and externally, for our seed to grow. This preparation time is very important so we can begin to let go of our pod with all inscribed beliefs and thoughts that do not belong to us and never did.

Some might say they have always been ready to let go of their pod. Yet, it takes honesty and courage to face what is in our pod and to see it is not who we truly are. This means we have to see that those who gave us these beliefs or hurt us were wrong. That is not to say these people were bad, for they learned these misguided ideas from their experiences, too, and they just didn’t know any better. That’s not always easy to accept about our parents, family, or loved ones. This growth process is not easy either. It takes much work, dedication, and willingness to look at some difficult issues.

A Story of Wheat and Weeds

Now, the seed can’t just come out of its pod all at once, but it happens slowly at a gradual pace so that the growth is strong and sure. That means it’s okay to allow elements of wheat2the pod to remain around the seed until you are ready to let go of those parts.

This process is like the story of a man who planted some wheat in his field. Then during the night, the man’s enemy came and planted weeds among the wheat. When the wheat began to come up through the soil so did the weeds and the man’s servants asked him if they should gather up the weeds. The man replied, “No, because while you are gathering up the weeds, you might uproot the wheat with them. Rather, let both grow together. Then at harvest time, we will gather the weeds first, bind them together and burn them. Then we will gather the wheat into my barn.”

In the meantime, if you have an issue written on your pod, like a hot temper or fear of confrontation, you can develop healthy and healing ways to deal with the issue. Then as one grows and discovers more about their seed, the elements in the pod will naturally fade.

Self-Discovery

In the plant’s growth process, first a root comes out of the pod to test the environment and the seed begins to build its root system to support the plant. Then the seed forms its leaves and stem to come up through the soil to the sunlight. That’s what our seed does, too. First, our seed will build a foundation of who we truly are—our values, our ideas, our beliefs—to support our being and growth process. Then when the foundation is laid and our roots are firmly in the ground, we begin to break through the surface and our being self magnifybegins to shine to the world. We discover who we truly are in just the right time and just the right way.

A good exercise to begin or further your awakening process or your team’s is to write down on a piece of paper a list of all that is within your seed and what is written on your pod. You might want to draw and write about these qualities in depth. Look at where the elements of your pod came from, where you learned them, and what triggers these in you. You could also make a collage about your seed and pod using pictures, words, and sentences from magazines and newspapers to get a full picture of your growth process.

Everyone Is Unique

It’s important to recognize and appreciate our unique qualities. It takes effort and persistence to travel through this process, but remember your seed and pod have all they need to do the work. All that is required is already within you, and that’s pretty amazing—just like the plant’s little seed.

Appreciating Personality Diversity

Now that you understand your own personality better, take a look at those who work for you. Wouldn’t it be great if everyone who worked for us had the exact same personalities that we do? No, it would not.

The most effective managers appreciate the diversity of their subordinates’ personalities. That’s the view of Management Professor Scott Williams, a business school faculty member at Wright State University in Dayton, Ohio.

“Personality diversity can make communication and coordination of activities more difficult at times, but diversity has its advantages,” says Dr. Williams. “Diverse groups that give the extra effort to understand and accept each other’s personalities tend to produce higher quality decisions than groups that are either (a) homogeneous or (b) don’t manage their diversity well.”

According to Dr. Williams, appreciating the diverse personalities of the people we interact with helps us to understand why they act the way they do and how to get the most out of them. Appreciating personality diversity means respecting the strengths and limitations of each individual, and knowing how to capitalize on each individual’s strengths.

In his online newsletter LeaderLetter, Dr. Williams states that appreciating personality diversity is the opposite of dogmatically expecting everyone to view situations the way you do—no matter how successful you have been using your approach. We don’t all think alike, but that’s often a good thing.

“People with different personalities have different inherent strengths and weaknesses,” adds Dr. Williams. “For this reason, the best groups are made up of members with diverse personalities who learn to appreciate and put to use each other’s strengths. Managers should promote an appreciation for personality diversity. Discussions of personality inventories, especially when facilitated by an expert, can be an effective way to foster such appreciation.”

Before you use in-depth work style assessments for self evaluation or to manage others, you need to select the right instrument. The profile needs to include areas that explore problem solving and stress patterns, leadership and organization style, things to guard against and probing questions to assist with the self evaluation process.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Dana Borowka, MA, CEO and Ellen Borowka, MA, Senior Analyst of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC with their organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your organization”. They do this through the use of in-depth work style assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. They also have a full service consulting division that provides domestic and international interpersonal coaching, executive onboarding, leadership training, global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training, operational productivity improvement, 360s and employee surveys as well as a variety of workshops. They have over 25 years of business and human behavioral consulting experience. They are nationally renowned speakers and radio personalities on this topic. They are the authors of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.