Narrow the Gap in Your Organization Between What We Want and What We Get

By Larry Cassidy – Excerpt from Cracking the Personality Code

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]J[/dropcaps]ack was in his late thirties. He had worked for large companies for fifteen years and finally decided to take what he knew and start his own business. He ran the numbers, talked to friends and advisors, and determined that with hard work he could get by in the first year, and from the second year on, do very well.

music directorIt was the “hard work” that was the problem. Not the actual work: Jack worked 12–14 hour days. The problem was that Jack only had so many hours in a day. He could not get all the work done. So he decided to hire an office assistant to take tasks off his back and free up time to go after the big bucks.

And then Jack hired a few production employees. Then a shop manager. Next a sales person. Then a bookkeeper, and of course, an office manager. As year #2 rolled on, Jack looked up and he had a—a—a company. A real company, with real people. Eight employees, soon ten, not long until twenty or even thirty.

The more employees, the more variety. Of course, Jack wanted different skills to match up with the different challenges faced by the firm. The problem to which Jack awoke at the dawn of year #3 was two-fold: employees who varied from what he wanted in terms of skills and capability; and employees who just didn’t “fit in” (get along with, work well with, or act as team players) with the other employees.

How could Jack have avoided this uneven performance or behavioral mismatch? How do you avoid the same issues? Actually, there is no way to get it right all of the time. These are people we are hiring and with whom we are dealing. However, we can narrow the gap between what we want and what we get, often by a considerable amount. We can do this by a series of thoughtful steps that lead up to the actual hiring:

  1. Define the values and environment that you wish to promote in your firm.bridging the gap
  2. Define the position for which you are hiring, including core skills and related behaviors required for success in the position.
  3. Utilize a capable mechanism to identify and source qualified candidates.
  4. Utilize interview techniques and questions that focus on whether the candidate has performed successfully in the past on comparable challenges.
  5. And—utilize a valid testing instrument to assist in determining appropriate interview questions and to define possible issues to be explored with the candidate.

In the main, this book deals with assessing the candidate and his/her “fit” and, as part of the process, utilizing an evaluative instrument. In other words, Step 5 above. There are several of testing instruments available. Most have value and can provide direction and/or insights you would not experience without such an organized look at the candidate.

book cover design key picThe book will talk about the details related to using a testing instrument in hiring. In creating a lead-in for this discussion, my observations are as follows:

  1. Other than “socializing” reasons (i.e., we tend to like to work with and around other people), we hire others to extend our work footprint. That is code for: we hire others to do work we do not want to do, or do not have time to do, or cannot do as well as the person we hire.
  2. We pay the person we hire “out of our pocket.” In other words, what the business makes is now split between you and whomever you hire. So if you are going to hand over part of the loot, you had better be getting something very good in return.
  3. A good place to start is that the person hired creates more additional loot than you pay the person. The greater the excess, the greater your return on hiring the person (if you buy a machine, you expect a return; why is spending comparable dollars on an employee any different?).
  4. Thus, doing the very best job possible of assessing the candidate is important (even crucial). Can he/she do enough more, or do something better by enough, to create revenue adequate to cover his/her cost plus create an attractive return?

If it were my dollars in play, I would use all types of useful tools in making this assessment. That includes a quality-testing instrument.

I would pick carefully the instrument and, every bit as important, the person administering the instrument and assessing the results. I would discuss with the administrator all aspects of the position and related behaviors.

Finally, I would understand that any instrument is just one input to the hiring process and decision (along with the resume, interviews, discussion among interviewers, references, etc.). The results are to be respected, but not to be held as determinant.

I welcome you to check out this insightful book and to the opportunity to explore using quality testing instruments to improve your hiring results, along with your bottom line.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014

Larry Cassidy is a Senior LCS Consultant and a Chair with Vistage International for the past 27 years. He currently works with some 50 executives every month and has facilitated over 1,300 executive group meetings, and participated in 12,000 face-to-face discussions with chief executives about all aspects of their businesses. He prepared for this journey at Miami University (Ohio) and Northwestern (MBA); as a Marine Corps officer; with public companies (General Mills, Quaker Oats and PepsiCo), private, family and foreign-owned firms; and, in the 1980s as General Manager and CEO of local companies. He does executive coaching and also serves on advisory boards. You can reach Larry at [email protected].

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, [email protected] & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order the books, Cracking the Personality Code and Cracking the Business Code, please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

 

Seven Ways to Improve Your Employees’ Productivity

By Richard Hadden

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]E[/dropcaps]nough with management theory already! If the success of your business is to any degree labor-dependent, here are Men chasing timeseven actions you can take right now to make your people more productive, and enrich your bottom line.

  1. Test their focus. Do the people who work in your company know what’s really important to your business’s success? Are they pooling their collective energy in pursuit of those things? Here’s a way to find out. First, write down what you believe to be your company’s top three business priorities, right now. Put the piece of paper in your desk drawer. Then ask the next five employees you happen to bump into the same question: “What do you believe are our company’s top three business priorities, right now?” Use those exact words. Make sure they understand this is not a test. Whatever they tell you is correct, and there are no punishments or rewards connected. Check for consistency among themselves, and with your answers. If the answers are all exactly the same, let me know; I’d love to congratulate you. If they aren’t, you’d better get busy. As former NFL coach Jimmy Johnson once said, “Confused players aren’t very aggressive.”
  2. Do someone else’s job for a day. On a recent Southwest Airlines flight, I noticed a flight attendant slightly older than his colleagues. Turns out he was a pilot in disguise. That day, from coast to coast, he cheerfully went up and down the aisle dispensing peanuts, smiles, and a great attitude about the lessons learned from those he called “the people who really keep this plane in the air.”
  3. Give them a challenge to beat. Identify a major business challenge or opportunity in your company (declining sales, changing customer demands, new government regulations, emerging markets, excessive employee turnover, etc.), and invite non-management people to form a focus team to help you tackle the issue. Make sure the team takes ownership for finding solutions, and that they don’t waste time meeting for the sake of meeting. Emphasize that results, not activity, will be rewarded. Then reward them, with real money, in relation to the bottom line value of the results they produced.
  4. Prove your commitment to training. The next time an employee attends any kind of training, ask them ahead of time to be prepared to tell you three new concepts or skills they learned from it, and one thing they will begin doing differently as a result. Don’t approach it like a grilling, but emphasize the need to transform learning into performance, and your desire to support them in their development.
  5. Sit on the footlocker. Major General Melvin Zais, commander of the 101st Airborne Division in Vietnam, once said in a speech to future officers, “If you’ll get out of your warm house, go down to the barracks and just sit on the footlocker…you don’t have to tell ’em they’re doing a great job. Just sit on the footlocker, talk to one or two soldiers and leave. They’ll know that you know that they’re working hard to make you look good.” Great leaders show up, especially when their people are having a tough time.
  6. Show people the fruits of their labor. Find a meaningful way to show people how the product they make, the service they support, or the work they do is actually used, and enjoyed, by your customers. One company we work with makes highly technical medical supplies. The work is tedious, painstaking, and, well, boring. What’s worse, peach treesemployees began questioning the importance of their work. And it is very important work. The plant manager started arranging tours of a nearby hospital, where the assembly workers could see their products at work, saving lives, and delivering drugs and pain relief to patients. The workers came back so excited that the office staff wanted to be a part of it too. Now everyone in the plant makes a couple of trips a year, reinforcing the message, “What we do here matters! A lot!”
  7. Write thank-you notes. The next time an employee does something she didn’t have to do, purely out of a sense of commitment to the team or the organization, write her a note. Get a note card and a pen and write it out by hand, even if your handwriting is lousy. Put the note in the envelope with her next paycheck. Make this a habit.

I have a friend who berates himself for spending too much time “getting ready to get ready.” I’d suggest you’re already ready. Just get out of your cool office and go do it!

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014

Richard Hadden, co-author of “Contented Cows Give Better Milk”, helps businesses improve their performance by virtue of having a focused, fired-up, and capably led workforce. Please visit www.ContentedCows.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, [email protected] & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code” please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Recruit, Retain and Sustain: Lead into Tomorrow by Creating a Culture of Remote Work Today

By Annika Hylmö, Ph.D.

The very essence of leadership is that you have to have a vision.
≈ Theodore Hesburgh

The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out and meet it.
≈ Thucydides

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]W[/dropcaps]hat is your vision for your company’s future? How will you lead to meet it? Companies are facing the challenges of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, the cost of doing business is rising with real estate is becoming more costly and operations in demand of 24/7 availability and speedy delivery telescope maneven in the face of adversity requiring the implementation of new strategies and structures. On the other, employees are increasingly demanding the opportunity to have a flexible work schedule while costs of recruiting and retaining key personnel are skyrocketing. Failing to take action means losing hard sought competitive advantages. Staying on top of the game in an ever more competitive marketplace means that flexibility is an organizational imperative. Offering remote work options to valued employees becomes good business, yet getting there often means traveling to uncharted territory. With a clear vision and strong leadership, you will succeed.

Companies implementing telecommuting programs save money. Sun Microsystems reduced its office space by 30% once most if its employees started to work remotely for a significant part of the workweek. Increased flexibility for employees adds up to customer satisfaction and sustained ability to compete in a global marketplace. It also offers the opportunity for important recruitment and retention strategies. As the generational demographics of the U.S. workforce are shifting and a large cohort of Baby Boomers transitions to new adventures, telecommuting may serve an important branding function for you as an employer to retain key stakeholders longer. It also helps to recruit younger talent who take remote work for granted. Overall savings from reduced turnover, increased productivity, and so on for most telecommuters is about 30% compared with in-house employees. With successful telecommuting programs, the bottom line improves.

Challenging the Vision

Managers often struggle with the decision to allow employees to telecommute. Some managers who are used to Management-by-Walking-Around find telecommuting to be antithetical to what they view as a good work ethic and resist the notion that people who are working outside the office could really be working as efficiently as those in-house. Working at a distance does mean that important personal connections between colleagues are easily lost. The old adage, “out of sight means out of mind” applies in all directions. It can be hard to build team spirit when team members have to communicate with each other in ways that don’t allow important non-verbal signals to be shared.

Telecommuting programs additionally suffer from concerns and questions raised from within the ranks. Too many remote work contexts are thrown together without much thought of the impact that telecommuting has on not only telecommuters, but also on colleagues working in-house. The opportunity to telecommute is often viewed as an individual “perk” as opposed to an integral part of a business strategy. When telecommuting is viewed as an individual benefit to be handed out on an occasional basis, concerns arise and confusion ensues. High levels of ambiguity and uncertainty end up leading to anxiety and frustration as questions of process and fairness take over any possible gains made to productivity and efficiency. Failure to lead the way to overcome these challenges means a lost opportunity not easily regained.

Meeting the Challenge—Leadership in Action

While some remote work programs are imbued with confusion, following a few simple strategies can start everyone on the path to a well functioning telecommuting program that the entire organization can embrace and support. Planning ahead will yield extraordinary results.

  1. Set the intention— Embrace the opportunity fully. Many telecommuting programs fail because of false starts and early stops. Avoid temporary pilots and case-by-case selection of eligible employees. Temporary pilots rarely take off into successful programs and singling out selected individuals to telecommute while others look on creates resentment. Instead, roll out the program in planned sequences allowing for ongoing assessment of successes and challenges.network
  2. Prepare to move forward—and don’t look back. Begin by getting everyone on board. Survey as many employees as possible to find out what they see as the benefits of remote work as well as points of resistance. Identify job descriptions that work as well remotely as in-house. Employees know what works and what doesn’t. Listen to them, and then develop guidelines and procedures for what is to come.
  3. Clear the mist—make sure that everyone, not just the telecommuters, knows the rules of engagement. Share the guidelines that have been developed for selecting individuals and workflow expectations. Let everyone know where, when, and how to contact each other. Develop plans and programs specifically intended to continue to mentor and monitor the needs and success of remote workers.
  4. Enter the territory—selecting the right people means making sure that telecommuters are identified based on their job descriptions as well as their ability to work independently and in isolation. Take the time to train them on time management and work related expectations. Offer them technological and other tools that they need to complete the task. Train everyone on the new processes and expectations to make sure that they are onboard.
  5. Lead with wisdom—strong leadership and support is necessary for any program to be a success. As a leader, recognize remote work as part of an overall strategy. Recognize telecommuting as a way to lead the organization into the future by providing an opportunity to develop a strong, innovative culture. Embrace it fully by expressing your support openly and frequently.
  6. Celebrate results—the purpose of any remote work program remains to be successful in business. Ultimately, telecommuting can be a way to provide better customer service, speed up problem solving, or to remain in touch with the rest of the world while other colleagues are taking a break. Develop programs rewarding results rather than hours with a bonus for teams that bring projects in on time, together. Highlight successes in company newsletters, recruitment sites and blogs to show how much you value your teams’ hard work.
  7. Return home to celebrate—remember that you are all on the path together. Bring everyone together face-to-face as a team on a regular basis to connect and continue to build relationships. Provide opportunities to have fun as a group and to create memories that bind.

Telecommuting is here to stay. Future hires and retained current employees will demand it and business operations unable to sustain without it. As a consultant, researcher, and network2practitioner, my recommendation is that business leaders recognize the value that formally implemented remote work structures add to the success of operations. Developing new work programs necessitates the willingness to face new challenges and tread new terrain, so get the help of an external consultant with expertise in telecommuting to guide you. The investment will yield sustainable rewards beyond expectation.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014

For more information, contact Annika Hylmö at [email protected].

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, [email protected] & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.
To order the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code” please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Raising The Safety Bar Through Enhancing Interpersonal Communication

By Dana Borowka, MA

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]A[/dropcaps] client made an interesting comment once about interpersonal communication: “It’s not what you say – it’s what they heard.” In the world of safety, how you communicate and how it is heard can make a huge impact on every individual you work with, plus a few you don’t even know. After all, safety talking listeningaffects many individuals not only in your organization, but also family members and friends of staff members. Be sure to listen to the web conference on this topic at the end of this article.

Raising the Safety Bar

To raise the safety bar through better interpersonal communications, there are three key steps for dealing with others:

  1. Know your participants – Know who you are dealing with. The key to effective management is know thy staff.
  2. Show empathy – Strive to understand different view points to see where people are coming from. As an example, sometimes an employee needs a step-by-step process for doing a task and a manager gets frustrated because they just want them to jump and do it. Of course, this can be frustrating for both parties. The step-by-step person needs the process and probably won’t move forward because they are concerned about doing it wrong, getting yelled at or costing the company money.
  3. Work from a vision – Know where you want to go with an individual. If you don’t know, how will they know?

If your organization does any kind of in-depth personality or work style assessments, it is always helpful to review the data to understand or empathize with how someone is thinking or approaching things. If your company does not do in-depth personality or work style assessments, talk with your management team about incorporating some type of assessment during the hiring process so the information can be used in managing individuals. That translates into understanding how to best communicate once they come aboard. You can also use the information for your current team which can truly affect the bottom line (think of what miscommunication costs in lives and to the bottom line).

An in-depth personality and work style assessment will help in understanding how someone problem solves, how they deal with stress, and their thought flow. You can literally see how someone will process information and share ideas, plus many other facets of how someone communicates.

Types of Miscommunication

There are typically four styles of miscommunication (think of which category your problem players fall into):

  1. Do they avoid or run away from the issue?
  2. Do they pretend conflict doesn’t exist?
  3. Do they give in or go along with the other person?
  4. Do they attack or try to win through force or overpower with criticism, insults, manipulation or name calling?

Do’s & Don’ts for Communication

Now that you have a good idea of who you are dealing with, here are some do’s and don’ts for effective one-on-one communication, especially when dealing with a heated or recurring issue:

  1. Do have respect for the other person (even though you don’t agree)walking person
  2. Don’t take the conflict personally
  3. Do be a good listener. This can be tough. You may want to just be directive since you know what needs to get done. This won’t help in the long run. You need to really listen to understand where they are coming from. Avoid interrupting and ask questions only when they are finished speaking. Interrupting can be interpreted as being disrespectful. You also want to watch body language. Sometimes the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.
  4. Don’t assume they understood. In order to assure you truly understand what someone is attempting to communicate, use active listening. Paraphrase what you think the other person is stating and ask them if that’s correct. If not, have them restate it and then paraphrase again to make sure you’ve got it right. Use “I” statements when you are discussing the topic, such as “I feel it is not constructive when you speak to me in that manner, because it feels like you are being disrespectful to me.” Try this formula for success:

– State your feelings clearly without attacking the other person.
– Focus on the problem not the person
– Look for common ground – a shared need you both want or can agree upon
– Uncover any hidden agendas – is something bothering the person that might be feeding into the problem?
– Take time outs to keep a conflict from escalating – not a 10-minute time out but several hours or the next day (unless it is life threatening)

Problem Solving

Once you’ve talked it through and truly listened to the person, then you can move into problem solving. Warning: if you jump to problem solving and haven’t really heard the person, the issue will keep coming up over and over and over again. Problem solving should be fairly simple if you’ve listened well and if the other person feels heard. Here are four steps to help you.

  1. Set an agenda – Define the top 3-5 items you want to focus on. Don’t try to solve the world’s problems all at one time. Typically if you do a couple of them the other items will take care of themselves
  2. Brainstorm – Write the ideas down and don’t say “but” or shoot down ideas when they are suggested.
  3. Sort through the ideas – Pick several or rank them as to which one’s look most promising at this time
  4. Evaluate your options – Once you select a couple of ideas then ask the following questions:

– What will happen if we do this?
– How will it impact others?
– Will everyone get what they want?

Come to a conclusion to try them out and then set a follow up date. It is vital to set a date and to check in to see how things are going. If this step isn’t taken, either the task will not be done or if it doesn’t work, you and others will be upset that the situation had dragged on.

under constructionIn closing, consider this quote from John Marshall of Dofasco Steel: “So many people spend so much energy on things that are beyond their control! It’s human nature, but I constantly ask people anytime something comes up, ‘what do you have control over, what don’t you have control over? What can you influence, or who can you go to that has some influence?’”

You now have the tools to raise the safety bar for better interpersonal communications. Remember what is most important is that you are teaching someone else how to constructively deal with a situation and come up with a solution. The goal is to allow for ideas to be shared and to mentor others in how to communicate and to create a safe work environment.

Listen to our teleconference audio: https://lighthouseconsulting.com/Radio/raisingsafety.mp3

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014

Dana Borowka, MA, CEO of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC and his organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your organization”. They do this through the use of in-depth work style assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. They also have a full service consulting division that provides domestic and international interpersonal coaching, executive onboarding, leadership training, global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training, operational productivity improvement, 360s and employee surveys as well as a variety of workshops. Dana has over 25 years of business consulting experience and is a nationally renowned speaker, radio and TV personality on many topics. He provides workshops on hiring, managing for the future, and techniques to improve interpersonal communications that have a proven ROI. He is the co-author of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, [email protected] & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

The ‘Feminine’ Side to Leadership

By Larry Wilson, Author of Play to Win

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]A[/dropcaps]t one time I shared the stage with author Ashley Montague, a cultural anthropologist. His best-known book is The Natural Superiority of Women. Basically, Montague believes that women are superior to men in the area of emotional intelligence. He explains that, once women realized they were not physically superior to men, getting things done out of raw physical power was not a viable option. Women had to figure out different ways of existing, so they learned to be more adaptable, versatile, resourceful and empathic. These characteristics are so common among women that they’re often referred to as “feminine traits.”

woman telescopeAn example is “women’s intuition.” Men have intuition, but don’t tend to credit their intuition in making decisions. Yet women are happy to acknowledge they made a decision solely based on how they “felt” about it.

Another example is a woman’s right to change her mind. You could say that women often see more options than men. In our culture, it’s more acceptable for women to wear their emotions on their sleeve and talk about their feelings than it is for men – because, of course, real men don’t cry. Instead, they get more ulcers, but that’s a small price to pay for being a real man.

We also know that on average, women live seven years longer then men. There’s no physiological reason to explain why, but there is evidence women live longer because they are allowed to be more emotionally expressive.

Montague may be saying that as women were developing these skills primarily to survive, they were unknowingly developing skills in the art of influencing others that all leaders need, especially so in our changing times.

Now, if some of you “non-females” are saying, “Look, I’ve been doing just fine with my manly traits and don’t need to work on my feminine side,” then you might be missing out on a huge opportunity. I’m not talking about working on your feminine side. The fact is these aren’t really feminine characteristics; these are skills that, as a species, we all have to learn in order to survive. We just have to wake up and remember to use them.

So let’s drop the male/female labels and only talk about critical skills leaders must learn:

• Adaptability. Stubbornly sticking to what worked in the past is the opposite. This is driving into the future looking only in the rearview mirror. Another flawed leader response when things start going south is, “We’ve got to get back to the basics.” The flaw here is that you can never go back to anything. What you can do is prepare for the accelerating change that’s coming right at you by adapting to change rather than running from it.
• Versatility. Yes have a plan, but don’t let the plan have you. The dictionary defines versatile as “able to move easily from one subject, task, or skill to another.” Leaders know that, in theory, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. Yet in practice, a straight line seldom exists. Often leaders have to take a detour, go with the flow, ride the horse in the direction the horse wants to go, or tap dance their way to the goal line and move easily while doing it.people climbing mountain flag
• Resourcefulness. True leaders know their best resource is in the hearts and minds of the people they’re leading. There’s nothing worse than a leader pretending to have all the answers. It creates a distrust that leads to a heart and mind shut-down – the greatest waste possible.
• Empathy. Leaders must gain trust before anyone will follow them. The fastest way to get there is to put yourself in their shoes, to understand and love them, and then invite them into your shoes to get to know and love you.

Whether you’re a male leader or a female leader, these are key traits of a true leader.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014

Larry Wilson was an internationally recognized pioneer in change management, leadership development and strategic thinking, and is the co-author of The One-Minute Sales Person and Play to Win. He founded two companies, Wilson Learning Corp. and Pecos River Learning. Larry worked with companies to help them “create the organization that, if it existed, would put them out of business.” Larry passed on in 2009 and will be greatly missed, yet cherished through his books and articles for years to come. One of the things that Larry used to say was “Love your customers so much that they want to refer business to you since who can resist love?”

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, [email protected] & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order our books, Cracking the Personality Code and Cracking the Business Code please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Empathy: The Hidden Treasure

By Ellen Borowka, MA

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]E[/dropcaps]mpathy is essential to how we relate to others and to ourselves. How we respond to the feelings and needs of others as well as to our own. Yet for many people, empathy is frequently forgotten in the busyness of daily life. Many search far and wide for answers to their troubled relationships and troubled lives when the answer lies within them. Empathy is at the core of what we know as love and without empathy, love is empty and lifeless. What is passion, friendship, or bizwomanplantingromance without empathy? It would be just a shell, a shallow expression without the depth of compassion. To understand this great treasure, we need to delve into what empathy is all about and what it means for you and me.

The dictionary defines empathy as, “…the capacity for experiencing as one’s own, the feelings of another”. In other words, empathy is a deep connection of heart to heart where one experiences another’s existence and reality in life. Empathy is the glue that bonds us together. There is an old saying that you cannot truly understand a person until you have “walked a mile in their moccasins” – until you can see what they see, hear what they hear, feel what they feel. This is not at all easy. We’d all like to think that empathy comes to us automatically, but it is a skill that needs to be practiced again and again. And in a world, where pain and anger is repressed and buried; where loving one’s self is for many a difficult or impossible task; where wounds and scars from the past seem to never heal – it can be very hard to have empathy not only for others, but even more for ourselves.

You may wonder what empathy has to do with relating to one’s self. Empathy cannot exist without both sides of the coin: how you relate to others and how you relate to yourself. Not only is it important to have empathy for others, but empathy for one’s self is even more vital. For self-empathy supports and activates empathy for others. There’s another old saying, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”. I used to hear that statement and think I could love my neighbor, but loving myself was impossible. I just couldn’t see anything worthy to love about myself. Yet, the problem is that if you can’t love yourself then it is very hard to truly love another. Why? How can you offer something to others, that you cannot give to yourself? Oh yes, we can care about others without loving ourselves, but this caring, this love, would be missing something. It would lack the depth, the sparkle, the realness of a great treasure – empathy. When one is unable to love one’s self then it is difficult to venture outside of our fragile world into someone else’s or extend compassion that we have not for ourselves.

So, where do we start to have empathy for ourselves and for others? Well, when we want to bake a cake or make lasagna, we usually look at what ingredients are needed. So, we’ll start by looking at the ingredients needed for empathy. I see empathy as having two main ingredients. The first is respect – respecting the needs, feelings, and thoughts of the other. Respecting the boundaries and the whole person of the other. It’s hard to have compassion for others, if there is little respect. It is the same for one’s self. It is important to have respect for yourself – your needs, feelings, thoughts and boundaries. That means taking care of yourself and your needs – valuing your feelings and ideas – keeping your boundaries strong, yet flexible with others. Patience is a big part of respect – being patient with another’s pacing and ways of doing things – being patient with your own pacing and how you do things. When you are patient, you are respecting the flow and the pathway of life.

The next is intimacy, which is a small word that means so much. The bottomline of intimacy is reaching out and risking the pain and perhaps rejection, that is part of human interaction. It means pulling down the defenses alittle to connect with another. The flip side is intimacy with one’s self where you reach inward to connect with your inner self. This again, can be painful for the inner self holds not only all the light and beauty of your being, but also carries the hurt and anger of the past. A big part of empathy is accepting and caring about the bad with the good in others and in ourselves. Intimacy not only involves connection and risk, but also the willingness to experience the feelings of others as well as our own feelings. To have intimacy and empathy, we have to be willing to feel the pain, the fear, the anger, and the sorrow inside and outside of us. None of this is easy – it takes great searching and resolving within.

Now that we have an idea of what empathy entails, we can look at some ways we can have it be a greater part of our lives. First, we’ll start with ways to develop empathy and love for yourself. Create a list of all your good qualities, skills and talents as well as your faults, flaws and imperfections. If you need help, especially with listing your good qualities, ask a dancing peopleclose friend for feedback. Then take the list and each day focus on a good and a “bad” quality. Here comes the hard part – try to love both qualities (easier said than done, huh?). Be proud, excited, and appreciative of your strengths, as you would be of someone else’s good points. Accept and have compassion and patience for your weaknesses. Again, you may need to ask a friend or a counselor to help you with this exercise. Self-love is not something that is modeled well in our society and families, so it takes lots of hard work and effort. Writing, art and music are all good ways to explore your qualities. Drawing, painting, collages, journeling, poems, stories, songs are helpful to describe and detail the process – the feelings, ideas and past/present events associated with both qualities. Try to see and understand how both qualities are a part of your character and needs love from you. This may begin to clear out self-hatred and allow self-love to blossom.

Once you have developed self-empathy then you are ready to work on empathy for others. A good way to practice this is by improving your listening skills. A good empathic listener talks very little and hears not only the words, but also what is beneath the words of another. Practice listening to others and paraphrasing what they say. This helps you to understand where they are coming from as well as validating their feelings. Try to be in their shoes – what are they feeling? What are they seeing? What is their life like? What have they dealt with in their life? Practice with a friend or loved one where you each take turns listening and validating each other. You’ll find these can be very deep and rewarding conversations. Empathy is a special treasure for as you give it away to others, you’ll discover even more will be given back to you.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Ellen Borowka, MA, Senior Analyst of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC and her organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your organization”. They do this through the use of in-depth work style assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. They also have a full service consulting division that provides domestic and international interpersonal coaching, executive onboarding, leadership training, global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training, operational productivity improvement, 360s and employee surveys as well as a variety of workshops. Ellen has over 15 years of data analysis and business consulting experience and is the co-author of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, [email protected] & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

It’s Time to Get Back to Basics!

By Dana Borowka, MA

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]T[/dropcaps]here seems to be a great amount of underlying fear and tension in many organizations right now. You can see it by watching the news or talking with people. Many individuals are asking, ‘Am I doing enough to prove my worth?’, ‘Will we make it through these tough economic times?’ and the question mark exclamation markquestions go on and on. A long time friend and experienced business person once told me that when things aren’t working like they used to, then something needs to change. He shared the definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Sometimes by just making a minor change or seeing things from a different perspective can make all the difference in the world. In the movie, Dead Poets Society, Robin Williams’ character asked his students to stand up on their desks and look around the class room. His point was to do what it takes with your immediate resources in order to look at things differently to change your vantage point.

In today’s business environment, we always need to take a fresh look at how we do things or service our market place. It doesn’t take a big budget to do so. Many times just going back to basics and taking the complexity out of a situation can provide new and exciting ideas. Let’s take a look at some of those areas that you can explore with your team:

♦ Focus – Instead of focusing on the fear, be open and brainstorm with others on how to be more efficient, to reach out to others internally or in the market place in order to do the best job we can do and then go beyond norm. That doesn’t mean to work yourself into a frenzy but rather to listen – to be open minded – to gain empathy – be compassionate to those who need a helping hand – to focus on what is the primary need today and – to be flexible to see what might be needed 6 to 12 months down the road.

♦ Appreciation – A simple thank you can go a long way. Showing appreciation for others can help them to feel valued and encourage them to open up so that they can share valuable ideas that they have to offer. Saying thank you to the delivery person, a client, a truck driver, senior management, or a business owner is a wonderful thing to do. Everyone needs to be shown appreciation because everyone has something to offer. That’s right – everyone!

♦ Customer Service – Always keep your customer in mind. If for one moment anyone in your organization is putting the internal process over the customer’s needs you have a problem! The process always needs to first meet the customer’s needs. Otherwise you may not have a customer to enter into the process in the future. Every contact needs to be friendly, warm and value driven – those three points will create a retention environment as well as positive word of mouth. A number of years ago, the airline industry did a study that showed for every dissatisfied customer, that customer tells 300 people about the incident whereas a good experience is only shared with 30 people. We need to work really hard at providing really great experiences!

♦ High Quality – Whether you are in the service industry or manufacturing, everything we do is of the utmost importance. It reflects pride, respect, value, honor and yes, appreciation for the recipient. It demonstrates concern and trust for those who have entrusted you to help them with providing a service or a product.

We’d love to hear from you regarding other qualities that can be added to the list of ‘basics’. These ideas may seem very simple, but sometimes as the saying goes, less is more, and the simple ideas can be the most transforming ones. At your next staff meeting, test out the waters… ask some questions around these four areas and see what kind of response you get. Here are a few questions:

man diving in pool– How have you shown appreciation to others recently?
– What is your key focus for the next 30-90 days?
– What is your key focus for the next 6 months to a year?
– How is the quality of our work doing?
– How do we know if our quality is as high as we think it is?

Those are just a few questions that can be used as a spring board to explore the basics of doing business in today’s environment.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014

Dana Borowka, MA, CEO of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC and his organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your organization”. They do this through the use of in-depth work style assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. They also have a full service consulting division that provides domestic and international interpersonal coaching, executive onboarding, leadership training, global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training, operational productivity improvement, 360s and employee surveys as well as a variety of workshops. Dana has over 25 years of business consulting experience and is a nationally renowned speaker, radio and TV personality on many topics. He provides workshops on hiring, managing for the future, and techniques to improve interpersonal communications that have a proven ROI. He is the co-author of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, [email protected] & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

Better Communication Can Make for Better Business

Los Angeles Business Journal – Entrepreneur’s Notebook, Contributed By EC2, The Annenberg Incubator Project

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]H[/dropcaps]ave you ever had a miscommunication with your employees or co-workers that resulted in costly errors? This situation is not uncommon to most business people, but there are definite communication techniques that can save companies money and increase their bottom-line returns.

One example of ineffective communication involves a production manager for a furniture manufacturing firm, we’ll call him Joe, who oversees about 50 employees who work in teams men strugglingof five to 10 in manufacturing cells. His primary responsibilities are meeting production quotas and interacting with the customer-service and shipping departments.

The general manager became aware that these departments were encountering difficulties meeting quota and shipping schedules because of production problems in Joe’s department. The manager requested that we work with Joe to identify why these problems were taking place.

We found that Joe’s communication style was harsh and vague. His staff focused on his poor communication rather than the task at hand. They would take his instructions “as is” and work on the assignment with limited information instead of asking questions to clarify the process. The results were lower production, increased safety violations and poor workmanship.

Joe had a hard time acknowledging the communication problems that management was pointing out to him. In order to clarify the problem, we had Joe take the 16PF personality assessment inventory, which identifies not only areas for an individual to improve upon, but strengths and personality traits. We have found this assessment to be a valuable tool in assisting employees [to] gain insight about themselves. When Joe reviewed the profile results, he discovered the same problems that the management team had identified, and became more open to exploring ways to resolve them.

One of the first points we worked on with Joe was how to listen effectively to others. A primary cause for poor communication is poor listening skills, in which the listener fails to take in all the available information and instead relies on his or her own assumptions. Joe found that by using active listening, in which one paraphrases what he or she thinks the other person is saying, he was able to avoid this kind of miscommunication with his teams.

We encouraged Joe to avoid interrupting others and to ask more questions to ensure better understanding. Effective listening ensures that both the listener and the speaker end up on the same page.

Another cause for ineffective communication is poor speaking skills, so that the speaker provides vague and incomplete information to the listener. We suggested that Joe use “I” statements when speaking to his teams. By using “I” statements, Joe was able to take responsibility for his comments while clarifying his thoughts.

An example of an “I” statement is, “I feel under a great deal of pressure when you give the client a due date without checking with me first, because there may be some difficulties meeting that deadline.”

“I” statements are composed of three elements: The “I” helps the speaker maintain the responsibility for his or her feelings or observations; the “when” gives a specific example for the other person; and the “because” provides the reason why the speaker is bothered by the situation. “I” statements help the speaker to avoid being vague and accusatory with others.

Other people can interpret poor communication as a lack of respect and empathy. Joe discovered that he was unintentionally showing disrespect to his staff through his harsh communication. He needed to have more respect for his staff’s feelings and their points of view, even when he didn’t agree with them.

hands holding peopleThe key to having successful communication is to have empathy—to try to understand why someone is doing what he or she is doing and feeling, what he or she is feeling. Effective communication takes a great deal of patience. We suggested that Joe meet with his staff to discuss any problems and find some solutions. After they had a full discussion, he started a brainstorming session to facilitate better teamwork, not only in his own department, but also [about] how to work with other departments more effectively.

One idea was to have the customer-service department take a tour of the plant to better understand the manufacturing process. This created a sense of common purpose, a shared goal that all the people in his department desired and could agree upon, which encouraged teamwork rather than alienation. Joe then sat down with the customer-service staff to look at the problems that were occurring between his department and theirs.

The general manager and employees were very pleased by the positive results from Joe’s communication training. Customers are receiving their orders on time, accidents have decreased, workmanship has improved, production returns have decreased, and incentive bonuses were awarded to the plant.

Proficient communication is not by any means the easiest thing to do. It takes practice, patience and respect, yet the benefits can be immense.

Entrepreneur’s Notebook is a regular column contributed by EC2, The Annenberg Incubator Project, a center for multimedia and electronic communications at the University of Southern California.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014

Dana Borowka, MA, CEO of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC and his organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your organization”.  They do this through the use of in-depth work style assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors.  They also have a full service consulting division that provides domestic and international interpersonal coaching, executive onboarding, leadership training, global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training, operational productivity improvement, 360s and employee surveys as well as a variety of workshops.  Dana has over 25 years of business consulting experience and is a nationally renowned speaker, radio and TV personality on many topics.    He provides workshops on hiring, managing for the future, and techniques to improve interpersonal communications that have a proven ROI.  He is the co-author of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, [email protected] & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

Are You Prepared To Lead The Way – Part 2

Excerpt from Cracking The Personality Code book

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]O[/dropcaps]ur friends and colleagues, Suzanne and Dwight Frindt shared the following ideas in our book, Cracking The Personality Code. The Frindts are the founders of 2130 Partners, a leadership development and education firm that facilitates focused vision, inspired teams, and sustained commitment for its clients.

Understanding the Role of Your Body

Studies have shown that to learn a new physical skill takes 300 repetitions for muscle-memory to be developed and 3,000 repetitions for the skill to be “embodied.” In a similar way, the Frindts believe that for intellectual learning to take root, it must be practiced repeatedly. In addition, there are key physical components that impact intellectual learning, bus man on bombespecially when someone is faced with stress.

Without awareness of these physical components, it’s almost impossible to learn to address distress differently. The Frindts are finding that the physical aspects of being in an emotionally distressed state are as important as the feelings themselves. These two elements are inextricably linked. Ignoring or overlooking the physical manifestations of emotion limits our ability to manage emotional distress.

Research into brain physiology is now giving us valuable understanding of the physiological dimension of our emotional reactions. This fundamental information is extremely useful for business leaders. For example, let’s look at a physical process sometimes referred to as “limbic hijacking.”

The limbic system is the part of the brain associated with emotion and memory. Within the limbic system are the amygdalae, two almond-shaped clusters of neurons whose primary responsibilities include scanning for danger and warning us of impending threats. A limbic hijacking occurs when the amygdalae are triggered, producing physical sensations of distress. Some common signals of the amygdalae’s work include sweaty palms, tense shoulders, dry mouth, and “butterflies in the stomach.” As the intensity of distress rises, the strength of the physical signals increases—and our rational, cognitive powers diminish.

A Biological Early Warning System

In their role as instinctual guardians, the amygdalae are part of our biological early warning system. They help ensure our physical survival by triggering four simple reactions: fight, flight, freeze, or appease. They respond instinctively, with lightning speed—much faster than the thinking portions of our brain.

For our early ancestors, who were dealing with a natural world that presented many real, life-threatening dangers, this function was essential to survival. But in today’s corporate workplace, amygdalae reactions can often hinder instead of help.

Here’s why. The amygdalae react instinctively, nearly instantaneously. Unfortunately, they can’t differentiate between a real or imagined threat. They also can’t distinguish between a physical threat and one generated by words or our own thoughts. And when the amygdalae send their warnings, they set powerful forces in motion throughout the body. Adrenaline and cortisol are released, raising heart rate and blood pressure. Blood drains from “less important” areas (such as our thinking brain) and goes to those areas needed for physical defense. We become a reactionary machine: on guard, on edge.

“Not the best state for thoughtful discourse, creative problem-solving or associative collaboration,” notes Dwight Frindt.

Post-Stress Mess

That’s just the beginning. There are also the after-effects. If we were running from a bear in the woods like our ancestors, that extreme physical effort would consume much of the excess adrenaline and cortisol released by the amygdalae’s warnings of danger. Because of that, soon after the danger had passed, our heart rate and blood pressure would drop, man and parachuteand we would return to a more relaxed, thoughtful state.

In the office, this doesn’t happen. On a typical working day the amygdalae may perceive many “threatening” situations. And even though these “dangers” take the form of spoken words or private thoughts rather than outside physical threats to our survival, they still trigger the same biological reactions. We get hyped up in self-defense mode with nowhere to run off the floods of adrenaline and cortisol.

Without a release, our heart rate and blood pressure stay high, other physical sensations continue, and we experience protracted stress. At a minimum, we’re frustrated, distracted, and unproductive; we’re certainly unable to be our most creative. In high-stress environments where perceived threats occur even more frequently, people may end up missing work altogether due to physical illness or needing a “mental health day.” Under these conditions, the risk of burnout is high.

The amygdalae and limbic system, along with the brain stem, form what is commonly called the “old brain.” In fact, the brain stem is sometimes referred to as the “reptilian brain” because it can be found in all vertebrates, including reptiles and mammals. It has to do with our most basic functions: breathing, sleeping, blood circulation, muscle contraction, reproduction and self-preservation. Coupled with the limbic system’s early warning system of danger, the reptilian brain provides a powerful image and an important clue in how behavior manifests during distress.

“Picture the angry team leader raging in a team meeting,” says Dwight Frindt. “It doesn’t take a great leap from there to imagine everyone around the table instantly transformed into iguanas, geckos, and gila monsters, each caught in their own reaction and defensive/offensive posturing. It is hard to imagine that many executives actually intend to have their companies managed by a group of reptiles. Yet this kind of behavior is regularly triggered and allowed to persist.”

Given the primitive, instinctual physical reactions associated with being upset, it’s no wonder that all those advanced conceptual-learning approaches are not very helpful in reducing the effects of emotional distress. The information we learn in those training workshops are accessed and processed in the cerebral cortex, the “new,” rational part of the brain. But as we’ve seen, when we get upset we begin functioning from an entirely different place, a different part of the brain.

So how do we bridge the gap between the thinking and feeling brain? How do we make use of both our higher reasoning and our emotional passion that fires so much of our inspiration and creativity? How do we do so in a way that minimizes reactivity and distress while increasing productivity and shared pride of ownership?

Leaders can use the answers to get more of their own thoughtful time back and enhance their ability to focus on critical business issues. Team members can use the answers to raise their individual and collective productivity in ways that enhance their lives rather than increasing their stress. In both cases, people are able to move from an experience of trying to survive to one of thriving.

The Frindts propose that leaders start by working on themselves. The truth is organizations look to their executives to set the tone. If those executives are highly reactive, in all likelihood their organizations will be, too. On the other hand, if leaders learn to identify and clear their own emotional distress first, they’ll be more productive, they’ll trigger less stress within their teams, and they’ll be much better equipped to support team members in navigating their own emotional reactions.

Dwight and Suzanne Frindt have seen it time and again. As leaders begin to experience the benefits of their increased ability to “de-stress” emotionally, it becomes an obvious investment to train others. Just as mounting stress can create its own snowball effect in a team, team members can begin to build a new kind momentum of converting distress to eustress (healthy, productive stress—as in the excitement of pursuing a challenging goal). The more individuals there are who can identify and clear their own emotional distress, the easier it becomes for other colleagues to join them in maintaining a balance of thoughtful productivity and emotional engagement. It’s a process that, when fully committed to, can transform a culture.

While lasting change takes time and continuous practice, there are a few simple, critically important steps that can begin to immediately repair the damage of emotional distress. These diagnostic and intervention steps are both conceptual and physical. They give your intellect the information and your body the tools to change both experience and behavior.

5-Step Recipe for Identifying and Clearing Distress

  1. Learn to observe and identify body sensations that signal a “limbic hijacking” is taking place. It sounds obvious, but many people have no awareness of their physical state when they’re upset. Yet this information is critical to implementing lasting change. So practice. With a bit of self-observation, most of us can say (for example), “I feel pressure in my chest,” “I feel blood rushing to my neck,” “I stiffen up,” “I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach.” It’s essential to develop the skill of recognizing your physical buildingsymptoms. It’s so important, in fact, that this physical in-formation comes before anything else in the intervention process. Practice this step until you have a clear understanding of your reactions.
  2. Exhale and slow down your breathing. After you’ve learned to identify that you’re in a “hijacked” state, you can incorporate the practice of altering your breathing. The quickest and most effective method to immediately calm the “fight or flight” response is to take long, slow, deep breaths. When stressed, it’s common to hold your breath or to take very shallow breaths as part of your defensive response. Exhaling fully and slowing down your breathing is simple. It’s also quite possibly the most important and powerful antidote to emotional distress.
  3. Identify your amygdalae-triggered reaction. Learn to observe your automatic defense. Are you doing fight (assertiveness/attack), flight (mentally checking out or even physically leaving the room), freeze (deer-in-the-headlights, unable to think of what to do next), or appease (“sucking up,” e.g., “Oh, yes, I know exactly what you mean,” or “I’m with you on that.”)? Depending on the circumstances, you’re likely to have one reaction that triggers as your default defensive position. As you realize what your reaction is, you’ll also start to see its limits and its impact on others. This awareness actually builds the capacity to choose different behavior that gets you more of what you intend.
  4. Stop trying to drive your agenda. When under emotional distress, you’re more likely to make statements that you’ll later wish you could eat (and may have to). One of the most productive steps you can take in a moment of upset is to stop talking, breathe, and observe. Allow your-self some time. Is there really a reason to rush? If you can learn to step back and observe your own distress, or simply stay calm in the face of another’s distress, there’s an opportunity for a positive outcome.
  5. Ask yourself a “brain-switching” question. The amygdalae can only respond to a perceived threat, such as “Is that a bear, and is it going to eat me?” Unfortunately, since they cannot tell the difference between a physical threat and a threat in language, they go off frequently in the office or home where there hasn’t been a bear sighting in years. You can reactivate your thinking capacities by coming up with a reminder question. Use this question consistently (almost like a mantra) to activate the cerebral cortex of the brain. For example, ask yourself something that brings you back to a big-picture perspective: “What is the purpose of this meeting?” “What are we committed to here?” The relative sophistication of such a question will refocus your thinking and energy and will allow your system to relax.

One Last Thought

Next comes practice, practice, and more practice. You (and everyone else) have had decades of practice with your specific defensive reactions to distress. These reactions can be triggered by so many kinds of comments, tones of voice, and even facial expressions that you’ll have to work hard to refine your “brain switching.” In the beginning, it may not be possible to catch yourself before you’re already in the throes of a defensive, stressful conversation. However, with practice it’s possible to read the symptoms of defensiveness in your body and to mitigate the oncoming emotional reactions. If you commit yourself, it will become a lifelong discipline, and it will be well worth it.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Suzanne Frindt is a co-founder and principal of 2130 Partners, an executive leadership development and education firm that launched in 1990. She is also a recognized speaker on the topics of Vision-Focused Leadership™ and Productive Interactions™, speaking to organizations around the world. She is also a Group Chair for Vistage International, Inc. an organization of CEOs and key executives dedicated to increasing the effectiveness and enhancing the lives of more than 12,000 members. Each month she facilitates groups in Orange County, California, and Seattle, Washington, while also regularly contributing entrepreneurial creativity and management experience to several companies through service on their advisory boards.

Dwight Frindt is also a co-founder and principal of 2130 Partners. Since 1994, Dwight has been a Group Chair for Vistage International facilitating groups of CEOs and senior executives. He has received many performance awards for his work at Vistage and in 2009 Dwight became a Best Practice Chair and began mentoring the Chairs in the South Orange County area. Since then he has added two additional Best Practice Chair regions; the Puget Sound and the Greater Pacific Northwest. In 2011 Dwight received the Best Practice Chair of the Year Award – Western Division. Combining his work with 2130 Partners and Vistage, Dwight has facilitated more than 1,000 days of workshops and meetings, and has logged well over 13,000 hours of executive leadership coaching.

In addition to working in the for-profit world, Dwight and Suzanne are very committed to working with non-profits and have been investors and activists with The Hunger Project for many years. To reach them please visit www.2130partners.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, [email protected] & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order our books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code” please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Are You Prepared To Lead The Way – Part 1

Excerpt from Cracking The Personality Code book

How to Become a Vision-Focused Leader

[dropcaps type=”circle” color=”” background=””]T[/dropcaps]he answer is leadership. It is time to become a vision-focused leader around whom issues can be raised and resolved productively. That’s the view of Suzanne and Dwight Frindt, the founders of 2130 Partners, a leadership development and education firm that facilitates focused vision, inspired teams, and sustained commitment for its clients.bizmen with telescopes world

Ask yourself these questions:

• Are your conversations with your team generating the results you want?
• Does your team successfully raise and resolve issues relevant to business success?
• Can you identify and deal with emotional upsets, in both yourself and others?

Exactly what is this leadership that is vision-focused? “We love Warren Bennis’ definition: ‘Leadership is the wise use of power. Power is the capacity to translate intention into reality and sustain it,’” says Suzanne Frindt. “Our approach is the same whether we are working with individuals or with en-tire leadership teams. We believe the greatest opportunities are created by the development of people and action in a coordinated direction. We assert that the only sustainable strategies engage the heart and soul and are simultaneously grounded in sound business practices.”

Suzanne Frindt co-founded 2130 Partners with her husband Dwight in 1990. She is a recognized speaker on the topics of Vision-Focused Leadership™ and Productive Interactions™(www.2130partners.com), speaking to various organizations around the world. Suzanne is also a group chair for Vistage International, Inc., an organization dedicated to increasing the effectiveness and enhancing the lives of more than 14,000 CEO and executive members in sixteen countries.

Dwight Frindt established 2130 Partners on an idea that has become the cornerstone of the firm. The guiding methodology of Vision-Focused Leadership was born from his years of hands-on executive experience and from his thirty-year affiliation with The Hunger Project, an organization committed to the sustainable end of world hunger. Dwight has integrated his knowledge of managing operations, acquisitions, and turn-arounds with insights he has learned through the work of The Hunger Project in rural villages around the world. Dwight also serves as a group chair for Vistage International and monthly facilitates CEO and executive groups in Orange County, California.

In their leadership programs, through their firm 2130 Partners, the Frindts train participants to utilize a new paradigm and methodology to shift the way they listen and dialogue. This critical approach enhances fundamental skills and abilities to have successful interactions—the corner-stone of effective leadership.

Power of Shared Vision

In a 1996 article in the Harvard Business Review entitled “Building Your Company’s Vision,” Jim Collins and Jerry Porras said that companies that enjoy enduring success have a bizpeople seeing sunrisecore purpose and core values that remain fixed while their strategies and practices endlessly adapt to a changing world. The rare ability to balance continuity and change—requiring a consciously practiced discipline—is closely linked to the ability to develop a vision.

Vision provides guidance about what to preserve and what to change. Suzanne Frindt calls vision a “Yonder Star.”

“Without a vision, what is the point?” says Suzanne Frindt. “A Yonder Star unleashes the energy to galvanize yourself and your employees so you can achieve phenomenal things.”

When group members share a vision, it creates an opportunity for totally different conversations between a manager and members of their team. Focus on the shared vision creates alignment and provides a powerful context for creating mission, strategic initiatives, objectives, goals, roles, and finally all the way down through action plans.

Being a manager means making choices. At any moment in time you have a decision to make. Suzanne urges that when it comes time to make a decision being present in the moment, not on automatic pilot, is essential to the quality and relevance of the decision. You can then make the choice based on your Yonder Star, your shared vision of something to which you aspire, versus more of the same or your fear of some worst-case scenario.

“Worries are about envisioning a worst-case scenario, what you fear most,” says Suzanne Frindt. “Whatever we envision is affecting us right now. What we envision impacts us in this moment. There are consequences for managing based on fears that you may not want. Your Yonder Star is the shared vision you aspire to. The star is what you envision, and what you envision shapes both the present moment and the quality of your choices about your actions.”

Something else she recommends avoiding is being past-focused. This is when you make decisions based solely on what you have done in the past. Instead of having an inspiring vision for your team, all you are working for with a past based focus is attempting to minimize perceived risk and making incremental improvements.

“Many companies are past-focused when they do strategic planning,” says Suzanne Frindt. “What did the company do last year and then let’s add 10 percent or 20 percent. We are all tempted to try hard to make yesterday look like today. Or if we didn’t like yesterday, then we try to make it different or better.”

She adds that only by having a vision, a Yonder Star, can teams create breakthroughs to unprecedented results. Equally important is that it is a shared vision, one that is based on shared values and shared operating principles. This is how you create an environment for real collaboration.

The Frindts also advise their clients to learn to shift from being monologuers to dialoguers. As Margaret Miller once said, “Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of witnesses.” A monologuer manager is driven by proving they are right rather than engaging in a conversation for creative problem solving. This monologuing manager often gets surrender and appeasement from their team members rather than enthusiastic engagement.

Dialogue is the opposite. The three Cs of dialoguing are connect, con-verse and create. It has been said that the purpose of dialogue is not to share information but to create information. The focus is on the issue and your shared purpose rather than each other. As a manager, your ability to model and encourage listening that is curious and open dramatically increases your effectiveness. The dimensions that become possible are creativity, connection, alignment, focus, and collaboration.

“You create your vision, honestly assess where you are, and then get to work on the gap,” says Suzanne Frindt. “On the road there will be road-blocks and potholes. As a manager you work with your team to get around the roadblocks and fill in potholes.”

Overcoming Emotional Barriers

“The ability to identify and clear upsets, in myself and others, is the single most significant key to productivity gains in our economy today,” says Dwight Frindt. “We have asked our executive-leadership clients a simple question: ‘What time could you go home if everyone in the company simply came to work, did their jobs, and went home?’ The answer used to men with ladders and wallsurprise us until it kept being repeated. On average, our clients say, ‘Between 10:30 a.m. and 11:00 a.m.’”

That begs a second question. If so many executives claim they could go home before lunch if everyone just showed up and did their work, what’s taking so much of our leaders’ time? The Frindts’ clients tell them flat out: distress, commonly known as upsets. The most time-consuming part of their job is managing the distressed interactions within their teams so that those teams can actually get to the business at hand.

“Okay, let’s assume there’s gross exaggeration at play here, fueled by frustration and wry humor,” continues Dwight Frindt. “But even if executives will never be able to consistently leave by noon, it is entirely reason-able for them to expect to save at least two hours of their time, every day. Alternatively they could increase their productivity 15–30%”

That’s nearly 500 extra hours a year leaders can devote to creative thinking, visioning, and strategizing rather than on repairing relationships and soothing bruised egos. At the opportunity cost of most executives’ time, that amounts to very substantial savings. Of course, the same can be said for everyone in the organization. An inordinate amount of productive time and payroll dollars and worse yet, opportunities, are lost daily, monthly and annually to the distraction caused by unresolved emotional distress.

Replacing that time, energy, and resource loss is of paramount importance. Doing so can create a culture that is both highly productive and emotionally resilient and rewarding. It requires a fundamental, transformative shift in two steps: 1) fewer emotionally driven issues in the workplace; and 2) leaders and their team members becoming self-sufficient in handling emotional distress issues when they occur.

“Let’s clarify what we mean by emotional distress,” says Dwight Frindt. “We’re using the term to summarize a wide range of reactions that temporarily disable people with regard to thoughtful and productive behavior. These reactions can vary from mild frustration to full-blown anger, and include embarrassment, sadness, impatience, agitation, worry, and fear. In each case the person is left in a condition where, whether realized or not, they are acting as if their very survival is threatened.”

The Causes of Emotional Distress

The Frindts’ studies and their clients’ experiences make it clear that the most common root causes of workplace emotional distress are 1) the perception that a promise has been broken (usually by leadership); 2) when positive intentions “fail”; and 3) when commitments seem thwarted. In addition to these three internal triggers, there are many times when busman and sharkpersonal distress is brought to the workplace from the rest of the person’s life. These other sources can be especially difficult to address, due to varying perspectives on what constitutes personal-professional boundaries.

The impact on the productivity and organizational effectiveness of people attempting to work while “stressed out” (or surrounded by others who are) is enormous. Yet it’s been the Frindts’ observation that most leaders overlook this as the place to start any efforts in business improvement. Most are far more comfortable with cost cutting, process development, process improvement, reorganizing, or some other business change that does not directly address the human dimension.

To help disarm this apparent reluctance to actively engage when emotional distress is present, the Frindts began several years ago to bring their clients a variety of expert presentations, books, and other training opportunities for building communication and issue-resolution skills. Even though there are many excellent resources available in this field, they were disappointed in the results. Their clients’ progress after exposure to all this material fell significantly short of what had been anticipated. The clients’ ability and skill in powerfully addressing emotional, distressing situations didn’t dramatically change.

So what went wrong? Why didn’t all that training and exposure to skill-building help when emotional distress was triggered? The problem is not in the content of the material. It’s in the limitation of its focus. Most of this highly regarded material addresses and is received by the intellectual part of the mind. That’s fine, as far as it goes, but too often the audience comes away with a conceptual understanding while gaining little or no real skill at changing behavior. Providing access to new information and a broader intellectual understanding is a good start, but it’s only a start. The Frindts found that unless this information is somehow deeply absorbed and embodied beyond the intellect, it vanishes when people are challenged and faced with intense emotion—their own or that of others.

In part two of this article, we will provide further ideas as well as the “5-Step Recipe” for identifying and dealing with emotional distress that can prevent vision-focused leadership.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Suzanne Frindt is a co-founder and principal of 2130 Partners, an executive leadership development and education firm that launched in 1990. She is also a recognized speaker on the topics of Vision-Focused Leadership™ and Productive Interactions™, speaking to organizations around the world. She is also a Group Chair for Vistage International, Inc. an organization of CEOs and key executives dedicated to increasing the effectiveness and enhancing the lives of more than 12,000 members. Each month she facilitates groups in Orange County, California, and Seattle, Washington, while also regularly contributing entrepreneurial creativity and management experience to several companies through service on their advisory boards.

Dwight Frindt is also a co-founder and principal of 2130 Partners. Since 1994, Dwight has been a Group Chair for Vistage International facilitating groups of CEOs and senior executives. He has received many performance awards for his work at Vistage and in 2009 Dwight became a Best Practice Chair and began mentoring the Chairs in the South Orange County area. Since then he has added two additional Best Practice Chair regions; the Puget Sound and the Greater Pacific Northwest. In 2011 Dwight received the Best Practice Chair of the Year Award – Western Division. Combining his work with 2130 Partners and Vistage, Dwight has facilitated more than 1,000 days of workshops and meetings, and has logged well over 13,000 hours of executive leadership coaching.

In addition to working in the for-profit world, Dwight and Suzanne are very committed to working with non-profits and have been investors and activists with The Hunger Project for many years. To reach them please visit www.2130partners.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, [email protected] & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.

To order our books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code” please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.