By Dana Borowka
How many days go by where you feel burden free? Any? Even for a moment? Most of us tend to feel pretty loaded up with all sorts of stuff on a regular basis. Most can’t even imagine what life would be like if we didn’t have all that “stuff” that literally creates a whirl wind of activity. Imagine what it might be like to not feel burdened with worry, anxiety or fear for even one moment. Some people can’t imagine such a thing. While others seem to find a space… for a moment of peace, calm or centeredness.
Some might ask, “Can anyone ever be at peace?” The answer is found individually. It depends on how closely we identify with who we truly are. If we are constantly reminding ourselves of all the things that we need to do, then we are just running from one thing to the next without some level of fulfillment or an inner purpose. The odds are that we will continue to move from one crisis to the next… if we do not try to be aware of our actions. Remember, it is not the activity that is causing the disturbance – it’s the fact that we are identifying with the worry, the fear, the ‘whatevers’ that are causing the suffering. And you might be passing this energy onto others in your life whether they are work colleagues, family members or those we stand in line with in the market.
So what can we do when we are feeling anxious or burdened? Is it possible to change deeply ingrained thought patterns and how long could that take? It doesn’t necessarily take a great amount of time. Yet, you do need to become aware of what you are identifying with when you are get worried, anxious, fearful, etc. Once this takes place you have begun the change. Then you have a choice. Whether you want to continue with that false identity or re-identify yourself in other ways. This awareness can help to prevent past emotional issues from controlling your thinking and taking hold of your life and actions with others. The old identity may continue to arise and show itself. It may even cause you to identify with it at times and blur your self vision.
Facing our self identity can be a direct confrontation with what you believe is “you”. It is not easy to look into the mirror of our own being nor is it necessarily an enjoyable thing to do. Yet when the pain or discomfort becomes overwhelming then that tends to shed some light on the underlying causes. Your core being is very capable of dealing with what may seem to be very difficult issues within us. Some people may feel that they are “defective” or unworthy and may justify staying in the pit of despair. That is nothing more than a culmination of our old identity holding on for dear life. The more you hold onto the old, the greater the volume can become to avoid change.
A friend once gave me a cotton seed that had blossomed. It caused me to think of an analogy which I call the “seed and the pod” of our identity. The pod is a protective shell for the seed that will protect it until the soil condition, the temperature and such is just right. The pod may have many things take place that might seem to impact it – gravel may rub against it, it may get washed to a different location, the wind might carry it else where. Yet the seed is not touched by these difficulties for it is always protected by the pod. When the time is right then the seed will begin to do its thing. The roots start to come out and the amazing sprouting process takes place. The seed begins to expand beyond the pod. The same is true for each of us. Our seed – our core being is always protected and cared for. When the time is appropriate we will begin to awaken, to test the soil, to question. At the right moment, we will begin to expand beyond our original identity (our own pod) and we will realize that we have always been ok… never damaged, never unworthy. We will see that we have always been safe (protected in our pod) and we will prepare ourselves to do what we need to do. Upon taking action, the burden that seemed so natural and normal takes on a different meaning and a whole new world will open up. A world of calm, peace and tranquility that we thought was only a distant possibility will now be within our grasp.
So when the time is right to take action, how do we begin to work through an issue? Well, I find it helpful to ask some questions to break down the problem:
• What bothers me so much about this situation? Try to dig beneath the various emotions to get at what the true focus is.
• When have I seen this come up before in my life? Look at specific events in your life.
• What am I doing that is not working and what am I doing that is working? Explore what your part is in the issue.
• What would my ideal outcome look like? What results are you looking for and are those expectations reasonable and attainable?
Now, we get to the action part of the process. It can be very easy to ruminate about a problem without taking any steps to heal it. Goal setting can be very helpful in making progress with issues. When you make goals, it is more effective to make them specific and measurable. Goals are easier to achieve when you break down the process into small steps that are detailed with time lines.
So, are you feeling burdened? Just the fact that you are asking the question is the beginning of a whole new journey of unfoldment and discovery of the seed that is within. A seed that is filled with many facets and a vastness that one can’t even imagine. With or without the burdens of today, you are unique to yourself and others. Embrace your uniqueness, question the burdens and value the protective pod as well as the seed within.
Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2014 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.
Dana Borowka, MA, CEO of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC and his organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your organization”. They do this through the use of in-depth work style assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. They also have a full service consulting division that provides domestic and international interpersonal coaching, executive onboarding, leadership training, global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training, operational productivity improvement, 360s and employee surveys as well as a variety of workshops. Dana has over 25 years of business consulting experience and is a nationally renowned speaker, radio and TV personality on many topics. He provides workshops on hiring, managing for the future, and techniques to improve interpersonal communications that have a proven ROI. He is the co-author of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.
If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, firstname.lastname@example.org & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.
Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development, team building, interpersonal & communication training, career guidance & transition, conflict management, 360s, workshops, and executive & employee coaching. Other areas of expertise: Executive on boarding for success, leadership training for the 21st century, exploring global options for expanding your business, sales and customer service training and operational productivity improvement.