Preventing Burnout in Today’s Environment

By Dana Borowka, MA, CEO of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC

Could employee burnout impact your company?

Burnout that causes companies to lose great employees occurs when your workers experience too much stress for a prolonged period. The employee is left feeling mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted. Not only that, your employees are less productive at work, show reduced concern for others, and are more likely to miss work.

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Burnout is no doubt tied to stress, and workers in the United States are some of the most stressed employees in the world. That’s according to the 2022 Gallup State of the Global Workplace report, which captures how people are feeling about work and their life.

Surprising statistic: U.S. and Canadian workers, whose survey data are combined in Gallup’s research, ranked highest for daily stress levels of all groups surveyed. Some 57% of U.S. and Canadian workers reported feeling stress on a daily basis, up by eight percentage points from the year prior and compared with 43% of people who feel that way globally, according to Gallup’s 2021 report.

Too much stress at work and home leads to burnout, which can be defined as lower psychological and physical wellbeing, as well as dissatisfaction, and employee turnover.

This stress spike isn’t surprising to Jim Harter, Gallup’s chief workplace scientist, who told CNBC that “rates of daily stress, worry, sadness and anger have been trending upward for American workers since 2009. Concerns over the virus, sickness, financial insecurity and racial trauma all contributed to added stress during the pandemic.”

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There is also a side effect called “quiet quitting.”

According to the newsletter The Daily Skimm, quiet quitting is “when employees quit going above and beyond what they’re paid to do. The pandemic blurred the lines between home and work — leading to burnout. And many have felt stretched thin by doing more than one person’s job, especially during The Great Resignation. On top of that, employees have become frustrated with the lack of growth opportunities and little pay.”

Quiet quitters are still doing their jobs, but common side effects of quiet quitting include: no more staying late after work, no more attending events like virtual lunches, and no more doing anything beyond the job description.

How To Spot Burnout

“Burnout looks like extreme exhaustion paired with low engagement, high hopelessness, poor motivation and limited efficacy,” says Colorado therapist Carrie Johansson, PhD, author of the book Self Help On The Go.

Helping companies prevent employee burnout is a critical element to employee retention and performance, says Johansson.

“Balancing challenge with breaks, prioritizing values and purpose in work, and encouraging employee autonomy all help keep employees engaged and motivated to perform,” says Johansson. “Employees should be encouraged to use cycles of effort interspersed with rest, to have systematic self-care strategies in place and to connect with fellow employees to stay actively engaged and connected in their work.”

Doug Clute takes a pragmatic view of burnout. Clute is a human capital consultant who provides Lighthouse Consulting Services clients with his insight accumulated in over 30 years as a human capital management executive within four different industries on an international scale.

“Typically, there is a bit of cynicism on the part of the employee when they’re experiencing burnout,” says Clute. “The employee’s mindset is: ‘I’m working so hard, but what difference does it make? Whether I do a good job or not, I don’t see how my role is connected to the bigger whole.’”

Clute says the misalignment piece of the puzzle needs to be addressed.

“Sometimes it’s important for companies to create what I like to call it a buddy system,” says Clute.

Clute says oftentimes new employees get assigned a sponsor for a couple months. They have lunch, touch base, but eventually that relationship dissipates after 90 days. Assigning employees in danger of burnout with a buddy could retain a great employee.

“The buddy must be a friend as well that can hold the employee in check when they’re too invested at work and are turning a blind eye or not paying much attention to their personal life,” says Clute.

The field of neuropsychology offers other clues on how to assist employees struggling with quiet quitting or burnout.

“Combating burnout sometimes means not following common success advice,” says neuropsychologist Steve Swavely, PhD, author of the upcoming book Optimal Team Performance. “For example, ‘Eat your frog first thing’ is an adage about tackling your toughest challenges first thing in the morning. It has some merit, but not if you’re combating burnout. A better approach is to tackle some small challenges early to experience the satisfaction of success. This causes the brain to release a host of neurochemicals that lift your mood, and your capacity to tackle more difficult challenges. Save the frog for lunch.”

What Can Employers Do

“We are working on one engagement right now with an organization where they brought us in to help a junior leader develop their leadership skills and learn how to balance their life,” says Patty Crabtree, a senior consultant with Lighthouse Consulting Services. “This junior leader over commits to everything and says yes to everything. The company brought us in to help that person understand how to put boundaries in place, which is really critical. The senior leadership team wants to grow this individual so that they can step up in their role.“

Without this coaching, it is easy to see how this junior leader with great potential could be lost to burnout.

by Ronald Carreño

“The big lesson here is that as the world moves more and more toward this virtual remote environment, leaders need to be more thoughtful in the way they engage their staff,” says Crabtree.

Here are three actions employers can take:

Hire Better. Improving hiring and talent development through in-depth work style and personality assessment tests is a great start. Take more time scrutinizing candidates who apply for leadership roles, identifying their empathy, emotional intelligence and ability to perform under pressure.

Train Better. Use personality assessments for the basis of team building. Good leaders must learn how to shield employees from unnecessary stress. Sometimes through training we discover we hired the right employee for the wrong job. Understanding preferred work styles goes a long way to improving retention and productivity and decreasing burnout and quiet quitting.

Communicate Better. In-depth work style and personality assessments give managers and employees a common language about how they like to interact. When people use their strengths, they feel more competent and engaged. Staff are less likely to experience high levels of burnout when they decide on how and when they complete their work. Supporting and recognizing good work reduces stress while promoting a sense of belonging.

by Moni Mckein

As the work world shifted from workplace to working from home to now returning to a workplace, everything is not just going back to the way things were. ”That’s not reality,” says Crabtree. “When you make this change in this new environment, you need to really work and be thoughtful in designing that way that environment’s going to work.”

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2022

Dana Borowka, MA, CEO of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC and his organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your business.” They do this through the use of in-depth work style & personality assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication, stress & time management, sales & customer service training and negotiation skills as well as our full-service Business Consulting Division. Dana has over 30 years of business consulting experience and is a nationally renowned speaker and radio and TV personality on many topics. He is the co-author of the books, Cracking the Personality Code, Cracking the Business Code and Cracking the High-Performance Team Code. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, Santa Monica, CA, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style & personality assessments for new hires & staff development. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication, stress & time management, sales & customer service training and negotiation skills as well as our full-service Business Consulting Division.

The Promise and The Pitfall Of 360-Degree Surveys

By Dana Borowka, MA

Famed management author Ken Blanchard says feedback is the breakfast of champions. Psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers said listening, not imitation, is the sincerest form of flattery. Super successful CEOs like Bill Gates say we all need feedback because that is how we improve.

The natural desire to improve the performance of leaders through feedback gave rise to the popularity beginning in the 1990s of 360-degree feedback surveys. The objective of using these surveys is to create high-performing organizations by tapping into the collective feedback of many colleagues rather than just a top-down approach.

That is the promise.

But there is a danger. The amount and level of training of those providing 360-degree feedback can impact the level of accuracy of the feedback. Without guidance from a trained professional, bias may distort the value of the feedback.

And that is the pitfall. But there is a way to avoid this feedback peril.

“Naturally to some degree people are resistant to feedback,” says Tom Drucker, MA, who helps Lighthouse Consulting clients debrief 360-degree survey results. “We all have defenses against feedback, so the feedback needs to be mediated by someone who is trained to do this.”

Drucker received his master’s degree in Clinical Psychology from UCLA while working with and being mentored by famed psychologists Viktor Frankl and Abraham Maslow. He went on to pursue his PhD at UCLA’s business school where he studied change management, operations research, anthropology, linguistics, and behavioral science. His unpublished dissertation focused on how leadership styles affected the success of long-term organizational change.

That varied background comes in handy when he debriefs leaders on their 360-degree survey results.

“My job has always been to talk to each person and debrief their results with them,” says Drucker. “I’m a trained clinical psychologist. I had a practice for a number of years before going into the business world.”

Also called multi-rater surveys, a 360-degree feedback is a process through which feedback is gathered from an employee’s supervisors, subordinates, and colleagues, as well as a self-evaluation by the employee themselves. The 360-degree survey can be contrasted with downward feedback from the boss or upward feedback delivered to managers by subordinates.

In Drucker’s view, the worst-case scenario is to just grab some 360-degree survey tool from the Internet and let the recipients interpret the feedback from the various people on their own. Just because a survey is cheap and easy does not make it the best approach.

Drucker says when successfully implemented, 360-degree feedback can be a game-changer for a business. These surveys can initiate positive changes and provide more accurate performance reviews leading to accelerated professional growth.

“When I review the results with those being assessed, I have very authentic conversations with people about their strengths,” says Drucker. “Then we talk about what is getting in their way. This leads to helpful conversations about what they should start doing, stop doing and continue doing. This is a transformative conversation for many leaders.”

This is similar to what Lighthouse Consulting Services has found to be true when we work with companies who want to improve hiring and talent development through in-depth work style and personality assessment. You can learn how your people and candidates are wired in order to hire the best and understand how to proactively manage individuals.

But to get full benefit, you need to be debriefed on the assessments by trained professionals. We assist clients by providing the leading in-depth work style and personality assessment and then utilizing our insights and assessment knowledge to best interpret the results.

Before using 360-degree surveys, some people want to know the origins of the approach. It all began around 1930 when military psychologist Johann Baptist Rieffert developed a methodology to select officer candidates for the German army. The jump to the business world occurred in the 1950s when the Esso Research and Engineering Company gathered information on employees, which arguably is the first recorded business use of the technique.

From there, the idea of 360-degree feedback gained momentum, and by the ‘90s most human resources and organizational development professionals discovered the concept. Today, studies suggest that over one-third of U.S. companies use some type of multi-source, multi-rater feedback like a 360-degree survey.

“A 360-degree survey has two parts,” says Drucker. “The first part is analytical, and examines how frequently certain behaviors occur, like leaders asking subordinates ‘how can I do my job better to support you?’”

The meat of this section of the 360-degree is getting statistically valid data on observable behaviors and the impact those behaviors have on their boss and others.

“The second part are open-ended questions, such as ‘what are the strengths of the leader?’ and ‘what are you afraid to tell the leader?’” says Drucker. “We spend a fair amount of time debriefing answers to those types of questions.”

Drucker says it is important that the feedback is anonymous.

“This is a way to see yourself as others see you, as the poet said,” notes Drucker. “Sometimes the feedback can be empowering. Other times it can be unsettling. As a clinician, I’m able to help people process the feedback even on Zoom calls.”
Without help in the debriefing, the part of the brain that produces threat responses might get triggered and derail the value of the feedback process.

“We’re all human beings, and we all have this almond-shaped gland in the brain called the amygdala, which triggers fear and can cut off any kind of logical, creative thinking,” says Drucker about the natural fight, flight or freeze response that triggers our bodies feeling anxious and afraid.

Drucker, who became a neuroscientist about 20 years ago, says the amygdala is what helped our ancestors survive in a hostile world. There are natural biochemical reactions we can thank for our being on the planet today.

“Feedback can be very upsetting which triggers a fear response in the brain,” says Drucker. “I have had clients become depressed because the information was so uniformly negative. However, 95% of all written feedback reflects the observer’s respect for the leader. Their words are intended to inspire positive change.”

Without someone to help process the information, it can be overwhelming. But it does not have to be.

Drucker began consulting after spending 15 years as a senior executive in Human Resources at Xerox Corporation. His experience at Xerox provided him with a global business perspective and refined his personal skills in leadership and management. He has developed unique methods for coaching successful leaders as they grow their organizations. He is also very proud to apply these same business tools to nonprofit organizations and community institutions like schools, hospitals, and law enforcement agencies.

Drucker says the 360-degree survey and professional feedback is not just for the Fortune 500 but can help organizations of all sizes.

“When professionally conducted and interpreted, the results can be significant,” says Drucker. “Without a trained professional, the value of their results is severely diminished.”  If you are open to a conversation about a 360-degree survey process or how our in-depth work style and personality assessment could help your team, including pricing and the science behind the tests, please contact us at 310-453-6556, extension 403.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2021

Dana Borowka, MA, CEO of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC and his organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your business”. They do this through the use of in-depth work style & personality assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication, stress & time management, sales & customer service training and negotiation skills as well as our full-service Business Consulting Division. Dana has over 30 years of business consulting experience and is a nationally renowned speaker, radio and TV personality on many topics. He is the co-author of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code”, “Cracking the Business Code” and “Cracking the High-Performance Team Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Tom Drucker, MA is a Senior Lighthouse Consultant and works with leaders to achieve business success by leveraging the strengths of their people and overcoming the very human yet often unseen obstacles that get their way. Tom has well over 30 years of experience working with Fortune 500 companies, mid caps and start ups.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style & personality assessments for new hires & staff development. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication, stress & time management, sales & customer service training and negotiation skills as well as our full-service Business Consulting Division.

For more information, please visit our website, www.lighthouseconsulting.com to sign up for our Open Line webinars and monthly Keeping On Track publication.  If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, Santa Monica, CA, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Finding Forgiveness

By Ellen Borowka

When there’s hurt, anger, betrayal – how do we find forgiveness? How do we let go and find peace? It can be a hard thing to do. ‘Forgive & forget’ is what we hear, and when someone is having a tough day, that may be easy. But what about situations where one has caused deep pain to Key and dooranother? Whether it is a personal or professional relationship – a friend or co-worker, family or supervisor – where do we start to heal? Here are some thoughts:

1. Take time to heal. Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight. Feelings and issues need to be dealt with, so give yourself some time. When one feels hurt, this commonly produces an angry reaction. This can help us to feel we have more power while in a vulnerable position. Yet, it can be hard to fully resolve the hurt until the anger is worked on. It’s rather like trying to do your best in a situation while experiencing a headache. It’s just hard to focus. Find ways to get that anger out, without emotionally injuring others. Find a neutral party to express these feelings with or write or paint to explore them. Some people tend to swallow their anger and then project it out to others that are not even attached to the original hurt. So, it is important deal with the emotions and not let them fester.

2. Grieve the loss. Another part may be to mourn a loss. The situation may symbolize a change in the relationship, loss of something hoped for in the relationship, loss of respect, trust or understanding, etc. In some ways, that is a loss, a change with the other person. It helps to get at the undercurrent – what this really means to you. The end goal of this is to let go – to let go of the desire to punish or to hurt the other person. To let go of the belief that this person owes anything to you. Otherwise, it will be so hard to disconnect from the hurt and anger to find healing.

3. Be honest with yourself. What part did you play in the situation? Try to understand it more so you can avoid similar situations. Your part may have been more passive, where you just stepped into the situation and didn’t know how to get out. In this case, you may need to learn how to be more aware of signals that others give out. To be more aware of the issues that others may have and how those might interplay with your own. Also, there may be the need to learn how to put down more boundaries, and to not allow yourself to be a victim. Boundaries are vital as it’s difficult to expect to stay in a hurtful situation and not say ‘ouch!’ Boundaries provide protection and respect, not only for yourself, but for the other person. You may have taken an active part in the situation. If so, then admit to yourself that you are less than perfect and that’s ok. Look at what your part is, take responsibility for it and forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself for your flaws is essential too. Whatever your part is, don’t use it as a way to beat yourself up. Rather, allow yourself to be human and as a starting point for understanding the other person is human too.

4. Develop empathy for the other person. Why did that person do what he or she did? What was their reason? Were they afraid or in pain? Do they have a fragile self-image? A friend of mine has a habit of saying, “Hurt people hurt people.” And that is so true. I believe that is the very core of why people hurt others. If you can get beyond your own hurt to gain a glimpse of theirs, then you have made big progress in finding forgiveness.

5. The next step. So, you’ve started to have some empathy and forgiveness – what now? Sometimes, the relationship can continue after making some adjustments. Hopefully, there’s a place to talk out the issues and make those adjustments together. As a result, the relationship becomes stronger and deeper with more respect and trust. However, this is not always the case and one may need to make changes on his or her own.

dovesA few years ago, my husband, Dana and I went on a great cruise to Alaska. We had the opportunity to see many glaciers and one began to crack and crumble ice into the bay. While I was busy snapping photos, Dana learned a valuable lesson from the glacier. Glaciers are very beautiful with the variety of sparkling blues and whites, and when ice breaks off, the blue colors shine out all the more. Yet, glaciers are also dangerous. If you get too close, you can get hurt by the falling ice and the large wake caused by the ice. With some individuals, there can be so much hurt and suffering that it can be best to respect, appreciate and even love them from afar. Part of this is developing realistic expectations for the relationship. What can you truly have in the relationship? And what are the strengths and limitations? Otherwise, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment and more hurt.

There comes a time to let go and find inner peace. There comes a time to forgive. A friend once described the hurts and anger in her life as emotional baggage and how tiring it is to go up and down the hills in her life while dragging along this luggage. It’s time to let go.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2021 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Ellen Borowka, MA, Senior Analyst of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC and her organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your business”. They do this through the use of in-depth work style & personality assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication, stress & time management, sales & customer service training and negotiation skills as well as our full-service Business Consulting Division.  Ellen has over 30 years of data analysis and business consulting experience and is the co-author of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code”, “Cracking the Business Code” and “Cracking the High-Performance Team Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style & personality assessments for new hires & staff development. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication, stress & time management, sales & customer service training and negotiation skills as well as our full-service Business Consulting Division.

You Were Born with Potential – It’s Time to Use It!

By Ellen and Dana Borowka, MA

Ever find yourself confused over what career direction to take?  Or how to successfully prepare yourself for that career search?  Whether one has been in a career for many years or just beginning, these are not easy areas to navigate through. It can be very difficult to find the career path that is right for us.  Sometimes we may find ourselves trying to live up to someone else’s expectations rather than our own; or we don’t know what we want in a career  – what will truly make us happy.

Starting the Search

So, where does one start in a career search?  First, if you have recently been let go from a company – don’t panic, as that will be picked up when applying for positions.  Yet, don’t deny the feelings of anger, hurt and fear either.  A good way to deal with these feelings is to talk to a counselor, clergy person or friend, and journal out your feelings.  That will help to resolve the feelings so they don’t get in the way of your career search.  Next, it may be best to take a week off and go away on a short, inexpensive vacation.  This may help to put things in perspective and calm things down.  Then assess your financial status & needs, and create a budget.  It’s also very important to take care of yourself while looking for a new position.  Be sure to eat healthy, exercise, sleep and keep a balance between the job search and play time.

man with roadsignsFinding Your Direction

  1. Finding the right career is a process. The following are some steps in finding your pathway. Here’s an exercise that you might find helpful in making an action plan for your search.
  2. First, dream about three things you’d love to do in life. What turns you on? What gets your blood going? Some examples could be going to the moon, being a Broadway star or exploring ancient ruins. Don’t put limits on your dreams – write them all down. This will help you to discover what pathways you are most interested in.
  3. What is it about these three ideas that really excites you? Let’s use the example of going to the moon. It may be the instruments in the Space Shuttle that really excites you. Focus in on what is so interesting about your dreams.
  4. What is it about the (you fill in the blank) in your dreams that really excites you? What is it about those Space Shuttle instruments that is really interesting?
  5. Now, you get to research! So, go to the library, Internet, college career placement centers or other resources to research the companies associated with what you are excited about. With the Space Shuttle example, you might research the manufacturers of the Space Shuttle.
  6. Then contact a company representative in the department that interests you the most. You may be interested in design, sales, marketing, accounting, etc. so ask for that department when calling. Emphasize that you are doing research when calling, as people seem to be more helpful. You’ll gain information on opportunities and job requirements in the company and the industry. Also, ask what other companies or contacts would be helpful in your research. This can give you possible referrals and assist with networking. As part of your research, see if you can visit the area where you want to work and talk to people who are in your desired career field. This will help you decide if this is the right career for you.

Sometimes, we can be too close to the situation and need help to find our way. When this is the case, be sure to reach out for assistance from a counselor, clergy person and friends. Support is very important during this difficult process. 

Researching is the Key

Research is a very important part in any career search, whether it is to find that perfect career or new position.  Many people do very little research or preparation in their search –key opens door a practice that failed us in school and will fail us in our job search.  How many people do you know who obtained a graduate degree, only to discover to their horror that they hate their new career?  If you want that great career or position – be sure you are ready in all ways for it!
When I graduated from college, I didn’t know what I wanted to do.  So, I thought about what I liked and researched three areas – business, computers and psychology. I gathered information on different careers and companies in these three areas by looking in the library’s reference section and contacting companies, individuals and counselors.  I asked about the job requirements, pros and cons, and the daily routine of my desired careers.  At the time, I used this information to obtain a business position in a corporation then later made a career change to counseling.  This process helped me to decide what pathway was right for me at that time in my life.

Career Testing

In-depth work style testing can be very helpful. It is not a silver bullet, but can assist in exploring environments that would be conductive to your personality. When used appropriately, an assessment can stimulate ideas as a part of the research phase. The data can also help in preparing for potential questions you might be asked during an interview. If you would like additional information on this topic, please email Dana at dana@lighthouseconsulting.com.

Effective Interviewing Tips

So, now that we have a direction to go in, how do we prepare for our career search? Here are some interviewing tips to help you on your way.

  1. I can’t say it enough – Research! Be sure to research the company and position fully before the interview. Know the salary range ahead of time and how long the previous employee had been in the position. Knowing how long employees have been in the position will help key you in to any danger signs. It can signal whether this opportunity is the door to heaven or hell.
  2. Self-image is very important in interviewing. Make sure your suit or interviewing outfit is in good shape and pressed. Keep appearances fairly conservative like neat hair, no long fingernails and light on perfume/cologne and jewelry. This advice may bother some, but appearances are vital in interviewing. As you may know, an interviewer usually makes a decision within the first 10 minutes after meeting the interviewee. So, it’s important to put your best foot forward.
  3. Successful resumes and cover letters target the position. Go to the library or bookstore to get ideas for effective resumes and cover letters. Keep resumes and cover letters brief and to the point – one page in length, and targeted to the desired position. Be sure to cover all areas of job requirements from the job listing in the cover letter. For example, if the listing calls for five years of experience with gadgets then put that in the cover letter. Or if you don’t have that experience then be sure to address it with similar experience or skills. Also, different jobs call for different resumes like a sales resume for a sales job or a management resume for a management job. There is a different emphasis for each job type. Plus, you always need an original cover letter for each position. Don’t use form letters, as they are too general and unfocused. After the interview, always send a thank you note. It gives you the edge over others who don’t. It’s also important to have someone else proof your resume, cover letters and thank you letters to watch for grammar and spelling errors.
  4. Practice makes perfect! Before the interview, practice with interview questions. You can get sample questions from career books at the library. If possible, practice with a friend – role-play the whole interview from handshake to good-byes. You can even videotape the interview to study how to improve your interviewing style. Be prepared to discuss your strengths and weaknesses; what you liked and disliked about your last position (in a positive manner – don’t complain about supervisors); and why the company should hire you. Keep your answers brief and to the point, using workplace examples in a positive manner. Be able to discuss difficult areas like employment gaps or lack of experience. Remember that this is the time to toot your own horn. If you don’t believe in yourself, then it will be hard for an employer to believe in you.
  5. Be prepared for that big interview. Take an extra resume copy to interview and fill out all forms completely. Confirm your interview before going. Always ask one question about the company – something you really want to know, but avoid asking about salary and benefits in the first interview. Ask for business cards to send thank you notes after the interview.
  6. You make the decision. Look around the company environment to be sure you feel comfortable there. The interview process is not a one way procedure. You have to decide if this is the right place for you. So, look at everything and everyone at the company to help you make the right decision. Listen to your intuition. If it feels wrong, then it’s probably not the right place for you.
  7. Assess the interview for self-improvement. What could you do differently? Yet, don’t beat yourself up for nervous slip-ups. We’re all human and we all make mistakes.

There’s a Place for Everyone

Well, that’s the scoop on searching for the right career. Finally, I want to leave you with a story to ponder. A friend once told me about a young lady who was trying to sell her car to pay her college tuition. She was having little luck and tuition was due in a few days. She drove her car into a gas station and began to cry in frustration. The owner of the gas station came over to see what was wrong and she told him her tale of woe. When she was finished with her story, he made an interesting, if somewhat inspiring reply. He said, “Honey, let me tell you something. There’s an ass for every seat!” Then he suggested she leave her car at the gas station and he’d see what he could do. The next day the car was sold and the young lady was able to pay her tuition. The owner would not even take a commission for the sale. When life seems dark and hopeless, this story can remind us that everyone has a perfect place in life. So, no matter how tough things may be, the right pathway is waiting for all of us. The key is to maintain our vision.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2020 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Dana Borowka, MA, CEO and Ellen Borowka, MA, Senior Analyst of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC with their organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your business”. They do this through the use of in-depth work style assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication and stress management. They have over 25 years of business and human behavioral consulting experience. They are nationally renowned speakers and radio personalities on this topic. They are the authors of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” , “Cracking the Business Code” and “Cracking the High-Performance Team Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication and stress management.

Our Sino-Am Leadership Program helps executives excel when stationed outside their home country. American managers in Asia and Asian managers in America face considerable business, personal, and leadership challenges because of the cultural differences. This unique program provides personal, one-on-one coaching. For more information visit, https://lighthouseconsulting.com/performance-management/talent-development/sino-american-management-style/.

We also have an affiliate in the UK who covers all of Europe so we are now a true multi-national company that can support our clients globally.

Establishing Great Mentoring Partnerships

By Tenny Mickey, PhD

It has been proven that people in organizations who are receptive to positive mentoring enhance their performance faster, enjoy more positive exposure, and appear to enjoy their work better than those who are not. Effective mentors also derive great pleasure from supporting others as they advance their careers. A relationship built on trust and respect creates a secure and safe environment for mentoring to take place. It is often confounding when thinking about why more people are not involved actively in mentoring relationships. I will discuss some of the challenges related to developing and sustaining a positive mentoring relationship in this article. Also, I believe that mentoring between two people must be a partnership. In this article, I will make references to the terms “mentor”, ” person being mentored”, and “mentoring partnership.”

First, I believe a mentor is someone who has a deeper level of experience in organizations. By this definition, the critical factor is the experience the mentor enjoys in a specific area. Many people make the mistake of believing a mentor must necessarily be older with many years of experience. I have found many people who have developed specific levels of expertise early in their careers are equally experienced. Some early career mentors have displayed a knack for a specific skill, an interest, and has taken the opportunity to deepen their skills in a specific professional area. So, let’s be more open as to whom will be the best mentor for specific needs and interests. As seen with the ubiquitous opportunities to upskill through technology usage, one’s skill-set is not necessarily a function of one’s age or interest in mentoring others.

An important behavior for a mentor is the willingness to share knowledge and experiences in a manner that supports the growth aspirations of the person being mentored. A mentor is super interested in the success of the person they are mentoring. The mentor must be experienced enough to help the person being mentored clarify their interests, set goals, and develop a process to achieve those goals. A mentor should also have a greater sense of how their experience and your goals will impact future organizational decisions. Throughout the mentoring partnership, the mentor should have broad enough experiences to support the person being mentored as they work through challenges that will no-doubt emerge as their knowledge increases and roles advance.

The mentor’s responsibility is to create a relationship that gives room and space for the person being mentored to learn. A common mistake occurs when people believe mentoring is about teaching how things should be done. Successful mentors rely upon their effective listening skills as indicative of their respect, caring for, and a genuine interest in the other person… the building blocks of trust.

The above foundational pointers suggest that the mentor and person they are mentoring should establish the ground rules for the mentoring partnership at the very beginning. Together, they must decide if the relationship will have a formal arrangement, an informal one, or a combination of these two. The mentoring partners should also discuss what each believes will describe an effective and comfortable mentoring partnership. They should be clear on the amount of time each person will be able to commit to the relationship. By having this conversation first, each partner in the relationship will gain a sense of the other’s needs and expectations. With this understanding, each partner will be able to have meaningful conversations when the relationship is not going as expected.

SUCCESSFUL MENTORING

Successful mentors must realize that mentorship is all about meeting the person they are mentoring where they are…currently. It is a key factor that the mentor should listen fully …question deeply… solve at the root! This means mentors should focus on the critical areas of the problem expressed by the person being mentored. One can only do this by listening fully. When questioning, it is important to realize that the mentor’s interest is not always the optimal solution to the problem. It is often sufficient to make sure the person being mentored is focused on the right problem to solve. Also, is this the right priority on which to focus at this time? Often asking questions will yield new processes to use when examining new problems. Effective questioning also allows the mentor to tell stories of how situations of this type have occurred and been solved in their career.

It is very easy to fall into the trap of “SOLUTIONEERING.” Mentors have many points of experience to rely upon when helping their mentoring partners find solutions. It is often tempting to provide a ready solution that is based upon the mentor’s experiences. Great mentoring however suggests that the person being mentored will “learn how to fish” when working with their mentor. Mentors are best when they share anecdotes that mirror the person being mentored experiences. In this manner, the information is more likely to be remembered and applied more appropriately in the situation being discussed. This will also encourage the formation of broad principles that might govern future situations. It is very important in the partnership that sharing information is equal. This is helpful for the mentor to listen more than telling. For the person being mentored, this can create psychological safety in that they feel equally able to express challenges and propose solutions.

Mentors also validate and allow their partners to gain confidence in their ability to make decisions. This is sometimes achieved by feeding back, and sometimes expanding on, what the mentor has heard the person being mentored say. Sometimes people have a great hunch about the right solution, but when hearing it being rephrased by their mentor, clarity and confidence increase. This method also allows the mentor to provide a framework that helps to organize thinking, develop future processes, and build increasing confidence in how they approach solutions.

FEEDBACK

Effective feedback is a vital aspect of the mentoring partnership. How feedback is provided and received is extremely important. There are several factors to keep in mind when giving or receiving feedback. The following checklist helps members of the mentoring partnership keep this in mind:

• Always have the best interest of the mentoring partnership outcomes in mind
• Always balance improvement needs and positive feedback
• Observe each other’s thoughts and reactions with positive interest and curiosity
• Focus on facts and behaviors rather than emotions and personal attributes
• Acknowledge and summarize each other’s contributions when responding
• Provide feedback in a supportive way
• Strike a balance between being too friendly and too formal
• Ask probing questions to learn deeply and to stimulate alternative thinking processes

EMPATHY

Empathy is a key element in the mentoring partnership. As mentors question deeply and listen intently, they should focus on a deeper understanding of the obstacles. More importantly, when “drilling down” is the ability to display empathy. The questions should be balanced to (1) provide insights about the situation but with the realization of (2) how the other person in the partnership is experiencing the situation. This is a good practice to adopt when dealing not only in the mentoring partnership but also in other situations at work. It is important for the mentor and the person being mentored to experience and share the value of empathy.

QUESTIONS

A mentor should ask questions that are stimulating, meaningful, and impactful. Marshall Goldsmith, the coaches coach, always suggests that mentors start with the end in mind. The mentor is then able to focus on the “ask” and thereby guide the coaching relationship with the end-point in mind.

Another great question is to ask “what is it that you need right now?“ This helps you understand how you might be most supportive. It’s so easy to jump into giving advice based on your experiences. Is that what the person being mentored needs? Do they want your advice? Do they need an advocate? Or do they need just a “…you got this!!”

Discourage people in your mentoring partnership from asking solicitous questions. Often, the person being mentored becomes vulnerable and chooses to show others their capabilities. Don’t bite…rather, encourage them to come up with tougher questions. They are not in this relationship to charm their mentor, but rather to become vulnerable, share, learn, and grow.

Many people in mentoring partnerships will focus on their career advancement. It is important to understand what is driving this interest. Is it a passing fantasy…something that feels exciting at the moment? Is it something they are thinking about as a career end-point? Is it a way of seeking personal prominence among their workmates? Is it a career choice that feels prestigious or profitable? This is a very important place in which a mentor can help them “dial it back” by plotting the path carefully that will yield longer-term satisfaction.

Asking about taking personal time for reflection and rest is another important element of mentoring. It is important to know that personal balance is very important for success in all aspects of life and work. Many people being mentored believe it is more important to deliver an energetic appearance as a reflection of their strong work capabilities. It is key to practice and to emphasize that rest and reflection are also key factors. Your first job should be as much about you proving yourself as about you understanding yourself, getting a better idea of your strengths and how you can prove yourself in an arena that you love later on.”

It is essential that the mentee and the mentor mutually agree that the content of their discussions will be kept confidential. This will enable the person to be mentored to explore preliminary ideas before sharing them with a wider audience. It is also helpful when expressing doubts and reservations without having to be afraid of any consequences in other situations.

Lastly, it is critical to evaluate the progress of the mentoring partnership as the most important aspect of each meeting. This information gained will be useful in honing the effectiveness of the partnership.

Establish Great MENTORING PARTNERSHIPS!!

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2020

Tenny Mickey, Ph.D. is a Senior Consultant with Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC. As a Leadership & Organizational Psychologist, & Executive Coach, Tenny helps LEADERS improve their effectiveness. She relies upon her successful work as an officer in 3 Fortune 50 organizations (News Corporation, Disney, and Compaq) & 16 years of effective Organizational & Leadership Consulting. Additionally, each of her academic achievements, ranging from ( a Historical Black College & University) Huston-Tillotson University (BA), (Ivy League) Harvard University (EdM), and (Professional Psychology) Fielding Graduate University (M.A. & PhD) has contributed to the knowledge, respect & understanding she relies upon to support individual success. She is further stimulated and inspired to gain “new knowledge” each day. Feel free to contact Tenny through tennym@lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, Santa Monica, CA, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication and stress management. To order the books, “Cracking the Personality Code”, “Cracking the Business Code” and “Cracking the High-Performance Team Code”, please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Our Sino-Am Leadership Program helps executives excel when stationed outside their home country. American managers in Asia and Asian managers in America face considerable business, personal, and leadership challenges because of the cultural differences. This unique program provides personal, one-on-one coaching. For more information visit, https://lighthouseconsulting.com/performance-management/talent-development/sino-american-management-style/.  We also have an affiliate in the UK who covers all of Europe so we are now a true multi-national company that can support our clients globally.

Finding Inspiration During Tough Times

By Dana D. Borowka, MA & Ellen W. Borowka, MA

It’s so easy to get caught up with the news, lack of business, cash flow forecasting, etc. So, we are at a crossroads… do we sit down and ruminate about the dire situation we find ourselves in? Or do we rise higher… together to find answers and inspiration – not only to help our own families, companies, communities but also our nation, our world. This is a unique time where we all are facing the same situation… across the globe. We are all in the same boat. Though for some people… this will hit harder than for others. What do we do? Where do we go? Moving forward also means learning from others. We recently did a Covid-19 poll with our clients and we share those insights as well as some ideas for finding our way during this difficult time.

Moving Forward with Fear

Stewart Emory once said, “The absence of fear is not an option that is available to most people. People are looking for that, but that is just not an option. The difference between people who are really making it in the world and the people who are not is simple: The people who are making it in the world are making it and they have fear.” He then continues, “To go forward we need to make the growth choice. The fear choice is to retreat to comfort and avoid the fear. The growth choice is to take fear as a companion and move ahead. To have a life that is a joyful adventure, we need to be willing to take the risk. Courage is the willingness to be afraid and act anyway.” We can’t eliminate fear, but we can find ways to manage it so we can move forward on to do the things we have to do. We will address fear more later in this article.

Inspiration Leads to Finding Answers

I was raised in both Judaism and Christian Science. What a mix, huh?! Yet both go hand in hand when having to deal with difficult times and finding ideas to keep inspired. I woke up one morning during my high school days wondering what kind of job I should look for during the summer. I had been reading a bible lesson from the Christian Science Church and the topic that week included ideas about supply. One of the bible stories shared was when Jesus fed over 5,000 people. They had gone to hear him speak and share inspiring ideas. They went to get inspiration and insights about their spiritual selves and not for the sake of being fed. As a matter of fact, they had no idea that anyone would feed them… other than filling their need for ideas about God. I was so moved by this idea of gathering ideas for inspiration. The next thing that happened was that my phone rang. It was my Sunday School teacher who worked for her son in the travel industry. They were wondering if I would be interested in being trained to be a tour manager and lead groups across the country. This turned out to be an amazing opportunity to meet a lot of people and to have fun and travel the US and Canada. It was interesting to me how this prospect came about. I was first inspired by what others did when they went to hear Jesus speak and they were fed. When I read and studied this bible passage, I too was fed by fulfilling a human need. It all happened so fast. Insight, inspiration and my summer need for a job was met.

Finding Connection

In today’s time, we all need to turn somewhere for inspiration and ideas whether it’s visiting with friends, support groups, round table, associations, temple or church groups, CE/Key Executive groups such as Vistage. No matter what it is, you want to be around people that can support others and to lift everyone up.

An Invitation

I’d like to invite anyone who would like to join a Wednesday evening Christian Science testimony meeting that is held via Zoom. I just started to attend them and have found so many ideas that have lifted up my spirit. These meetings consist of readings from the Bible and from the Christian Science textbook, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy who founded the religion many years ago as well as some singing and prayer. Half of the meeting is spent with the meeting participants sharing what they have learned during the week from their study of the Bible and through prayer. The ideas are practical and useful filled with lots of take-aways. The meetings are on Wednesdays 7:30 pm PT and only last an hour. If you are interested in attending, please let me know and I’ll get a zoom link to you. See further in the article for more ideas for finding peace.

Ideas for Inspiration

Change is in the Air: It is good time to consider the following quote from Albert Einstein: “The significant problems we have today cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.” We need to be receptive to consider how we have done things in the past and when things need to change in order to stay current. Remember the Rolodex cards? Even the good old fashioned light pole is being changed out for the more modern version that does not pollute, uses solar electricity, notifies central headquarters through a wireless device when it needs service, and is quicker and less expensive to install.

A Strategy with Stress: We all need to deal with one key element of miscommunication… stress! If we are just reacting without a strategy or a tactic to execute then we are doing no better than running in circles. Stress or “fear” can cause us to shut down and reduce our capacity to listen. An excellent team exercise to understand how stress manifests within the work environment is to have the team members draw a picture of what each person feels they look like when under stress and write out some key attributes when staff members are under pressure and when they are feeling relaxed. Here are some questions to facilitate a discussion: How do your team members manage stress? Do your team members support each other when under pressure? What would be helpful when under stress? If you’d like us to do a lunch time remote workshop entitled, Thinking Clearly or…Is Stress Getting In Your Way? Please let us know… it’s fun, engaging with lots of take-aways.

Be Like an Ostrich: The old tale that ostriches bury their head in the sand just isn’t true. What they are really doing is resting their heads on the ground which allows them to pick up on vibrations so if a predator is near by they can protect themselves. Ostriches are actually excellent listeners! We all need to be like an ostrich and become outstanding listeners. One way to develop your listening skills is to practice active listening where you paraphrase what you think the other person is saying to you. Another thing to do – listen to your heart and soul for inspiration. You might get some great ideas from that still small voice inside.

Get to Know Who You are Dealing With: Stephen Covey said, “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Part of this is to try to understand the people around you. One way to do that is to identify three key traits for each of your team members. Look for commonalities and develop a strategy for how to approach each person in order to communicate in a way that is most effective for everyone.

Create a Communications Plan: Here is a team exercise to focus on communication – briefly answer the following questions:

a. How do you listen… if at all?
b. What are three things that haven’t worked for you when communicating in the past?
c. What are three things that have worked?
d. What would you like your team members to do that they aren’t doing?
e. What are some baby steps to improve your listening and communication style?

Communication and empathy are crucial to developing a successful interpersonal relationship. The more you reach out with a plan in mind that is based on listening and openness, the more ideas will flow to you on how to best manage up and manage down.

We also have a fun workshop on this topic – let us know if you would like to know more about it.

Managing Fear

Fear or stress can feel overwhelming. So, how can we manage it better? The following are some articles on getting a handle on fear, so you can think clearly:

Are You Prepared to Lead the Way – or Has Fear Got Your Focus?
https://lighthouseconsulting.com/prepared-lead-or-fear-focus/

12 Tips on How to Think Clearly and Not Let Fear Control You
https://lighthouseconsulting.com/think-clearly-not-let-fear-control/

Overcoming Fear to Grow by Paul D Walker
https://lighthouseconsulting.com/overcoming-fear-to-grow/

Feeling Burdened?
https://lighthouseconsulting.com/feeling-burdened/

Deeply Prepared People Create Their Own Weather by Larry Wilson
https://lighthouseconsulting.com/deeply-prepared-people-create-weather/

Preparing Your Thought for the Day by Paul D Walker
https://lighthouseconsulting.com/preparing-your-thought-for-the-day/

Finding Peace

Tools for Difficult Times from Unity Church
https://www.unity.org/resources/tools-difficult-times
http://www.dailyword.com/

Temple Menorah
http://templemenorah.org/

Temple Beth Sholom
https://www.tbsmb.org

The People of the United Methodist Church
https://www.umc.org/en
First United Methodist Church of Santa Monica
https://santamonicaumc.org/

ST. MONICA CATHOLIC COMMUNITY
https://stmonica.net/

Daily Lift from Christian Science Church
https://www.christianscience.com/christian-healing-today/daily-lift

Headspace (meditation app) is offering, for a limited time, free subscriptions to 1) anyone who is unemployed (https://www.headspace.com/unemployed) and 2) anyone who lives in LA County (https://help.headspace.com/hc/en-us/articles/360046874573-Headspace-for-Los-Angeles-County-Residents). They also have a 2 week trial period.

Calm is also a great app – https://www.calm.com/ . They have a variety of meditations on youtube, free resources (https://blog.calm.com/blog/free-resources) and a trial period.

Lighthouse meditation workshop – We also have a remote meditation workshop. If you would like to talk further about any of these topics, please give us a call.

We hope this helps you to find some peace and support.

Covid-19 Poll – Lessons from our Clients

Finally, we recently took a Covid-19 poll to see what lessons our clients have learned during this difficult time. We would love to hear your ideas too…just email us at reception@lighthouseconsulting.com. Here are some of the responses:

1. What is the most important lesson you or your business learned?

• Our employees care more than we thought and are more loyal than we expected.
• Can’t take any time together for granted. Appreciate all the little things that make us a team.
• Importance of reserves and diversification
• Something we already knew but anchored with the pandemic is the ability to work from anywhere including home. We pivoted almost all if not all of our 4000+ employees to be able to work remotely including call centers within 2 weeks.
• Be Flexible and be ready to adjust at moment’s notice—In other words: Always have a disaster plan in mind
• I can operate much cheaper than I was operating.
• To react quickly. We got the PPP loan because we were first in line. There is no time for procrastination in today’s world.

2. What one thing do you or your business wish had been done differently?

• Laid them off immediately, subject to recall.
• Dealt with employee issues prior to COVID
• Relationship with smaller bank … Wells was not responsive at all to our needs when required.
• I wish the country had not been shut down.
• Wish I had realized how serious this was earlier in the process
• I have never been an early adopter of anything but I wish I had gotten on the Zoom train sooner.
• I wish we had been more prepared for the turnaround time between the PPP loan and furloughing people right afterwards.

3. What one thing did you or your business do that turned out to be a really smart move?

• Struggle, work hard and become debt-free over the past years.
• Managed IT and Cloud services
• Took time to develop personal relationships with customers. Salesmen instructed to avoid discussing business and simply get to know customer on deeper level.
• We kept masks around since day 1 so that when customers come in we can put them on and make the customer feel better.
• Learned to use ZOOM—wish I had stock in them.
• Furloughed staff quickly and then was able to call back for a month with PPP
• Keep marketing through the troughs. There are still plenty of prospects buying.
• We had the right technology to go virtual very quickly. We also added some new things into our days to keep us connected and engaged. For instance, we started a book club and its been a smashing success. We also created a Weekly Work Log so that we could see what people were doing at home and find out what successes they had and what they were struggling with.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2020 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Dana Borowka, MA, CEO and Ellen Borowka, MA, Senior Analyst of Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC with their organization constantly remain focused on their mission statement – “To bring effective insight to your business”. They do this through the use of in-depth work style assessments to raise the hiring bar so companies select the right people to reduce hiring and management errors. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication and stress management. They have over 25 years of business and human behavioral consulting experience. They are nationally renowned speakers and radio personalities on this topic. They are the authors of the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” , “Cracking the Business Code” and “Cracking the High-Performance Team Code”. To order the books, please visit www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, Santa Monica, CA, (310) 453-6556, extension 403, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Our Sino-Am Leadership Program helps executives excel when stationed outside their home country. American managers in Asia and Asian managers in America face considerable business, personal, and leadership challenges because of the cultural differences. This unique program provides personal, one-on-one coaching. For more information visit, https://lighthouseconsulting.com/performance-management/talent-development/sino-american-management-style/.

We also have an affiliate in the UK who covers all of Europe so we are now a true multi-national company that can support our clients globally.

What Does It Take to Bring More Peace Into Your Life and Others?

By Larry Cassidy, Bob Dabic, Tom Drucker, Ken Keller, Gary Lockwood, Don Pierro, Boaz Rauchwerger, George Walker, Paul David Walker and Lighthouse
By Petr Kratochvil

By Petr Kratochvil

With the many local/national/global events that we are constantly confronted with, we thought we would ask some well respected business and thought leaders the following question, What Does It Take to Bring More Peace Into Your Life and Others?  I think you will find their responses to be very interesting, thought provoking and helpful. We’d love to hear from you as to what your thoughts are on this subject, so please email us at dana@lighthouseconsulting.com. We have also included some ideas at the end of the article on stress management, preparing your thought for the day and mindfulness/meditation.

What does peace mean to you?

Larry Cassidy: When I am at peace, what I am doing, how I am acting and who I am are all aligned with my core values: Be yourself, be trustworthy, do what is right, do your best, never quit, build bridges for others, be kind, love without getting tired and have faith. When I am uneasy, uncomfortable out-of-sorts, it is most often because I am not in sync with my core values. The question which keeps me centered is: In this situation, who will I be?

And when I am at peace, I am in harmony with my circumstances and with others in my life. I am less concerned with a “balanced life” – which implies a constant struggle to rebalance – and more committed to being in harmony.

Bob Dabic: Living as stress free as possible.

Tom Drucker: For years I’ve thought of peace in my life as a state of being. Some call this “inner peace”. I first learned meditation when I was undergraduate at UCLA. About the same time, I learned to control migraine headaches through bio-feedback training. The biggest challenge I have is to remember to keep the experience of gratitude in the foreground and sit still 4-5 times a day. Noticing my breathing helps a lot as well. I’ve learned how to bring “the experience of being peaceful” into my life even when I’m in amidst of an environment that is not necessarily peaceful or calm. It is important to distinguish this state of being for others so I’m not perceived as being disinterested or disconnected from the circumstances around me. I find when I use “this practice” I have a different reaction to the circumstances. I often see more creative options and I come at solving problems in a way I might have not noticed previously. At other times being peaceful just helps me become a better listener because I filter out most of my pre-conceived perceptions.

Ken Keller: Knowing that your loved ones are secure, healthy and happy.

Gary Lockwood: For me, it means a calmness in my head and heart that is not interrupted (much) by negative imagination (worry).

Don Pierro: What peace means to me is appreciating the good things.

Boaz Rauchwerger: Peace to me means doing what we can to make those we love and care about feel important and safe on a regular basis.

George Walker: Peace starts with the absence of conflict but goes beyond that to a quiet certainty that everything happens for the best in the long run.

Paul David Walker: Peace beyond anything I can say exists in the present moment. When we let go of all the frameworks we set-up to protect ourselves, a child-like joy fills our hearts. This joy comes from our essence, which can be covered, but never lost. Once we rediscover this, and let the Life Force enliven our true essence every step is peace. We walk through the world in a deeply authentic manner seeing things as they are, instead of what we think they are.

What do you do to bring peace into your life and others?

Larry Cassidy: For myself, I test what I am doing and who I am being against my values, and adjust. As much as possible, I try to be “in the moment,” to be curious, to listen and to ask rather than tell.

My commitment to others is to offer them respect, to tell them the truth, to believe in and support their hopes and dreams, to love them for who they are and, by being a part of their life, help them to be an even better version of themselves.

By ADARIFLIMAT (pixabay)

By ADARIFLIMAT (pixabay)

Bob Dabic: In addition to praying, I do mini-meditations during the day when I feel stressed (these are 10-second timeouts where I visualize my “peaceful place” and then tell myself my one-sentence affirmation statement (this was learned from a Vistage speaker, Steven Snyder).

Tom Drucker: I’m fortunate that my work of coaching leaders and their teams often allows me to bring order, clarity, meaning, and purpose into the lives of others. I learned early in my life when I was studying with Viktor Frankl that when a person found meaning in their life, they were often at peace. I find this to be as true today as I ever did. This connection with people also brings me inner peace and fulfillment. I’m also fortunate to live with a woman I deeply love. Relationships, while they do take intentionality and effort, bring me a deep source of inner peace and fulfillment. The greatest peace I find is when we are making a contribution to others, so that our relationship and what we do in the world is in some small way making a difference to others and the world that is in need.

Ken Keller: For me, it’s the small things in life that show you care and have listened.

For my wife, it is bringing home a cup of coffee after our long day. I also leave her quarters so she has something to tip her friends at Starbucks in the morning. It means emptying the dishwasher in the morning after I have started the coffee, and making the bed.

For my son and daughter-in-law, it means being available to them when they ask for our help and knowing they are strong for each other and not interfering with their life together.

For our two granddaughters, it means being an example for them and showing unconditional love and support, which can be anything from taking them to IHOP for pancakes, reading a book with them or taking them for a drive for ice cream, laughing all the way.

Gary Lockwood: The way I try to achieve this is: 1) Decide each morning that I’m going to be happy today and that today is going to be a good day. 2) Look for the positive in all situations and in all people.

Don Pierro: What I do to bring Peace is to forgive and send and receive love.

Boaz Rauchwerger: To bring peace into my life I make sure that I have some quiet time on a daily basis. I also like to read biographies, which help take me out of my world and teach me how others have achieved greatness in their lives. I make an effort to bring peace to others by being genuinely interested in them and being a very good listener.

George Walker: Find time for quiet introspection [could be called meditation or prayer]. Be a calm reassuring presence when others are in turmoil – just be there for them.

Paul David Walker: This understanding is the first phase in my work with leaders and individuals. We must know ourselves first, as many prophets and wise people have said over the centuries.

By John Hain

By John Hain

We hope you have gained some wonderful ideas for finding and expanding peace in your life. I have been learning about meditation and mindfulness to focus on the moment – to be fully present. Recently, I saw a segment about Andy Whitfield who had a difficult and heart breaking battle with cancer. One way that he and his wife came to terms with his situation is to get tattoos that said, “Be Here Now”. I find those words to be so helpful. Whenever I’m doing something – whether a walk, folding laundry, etc. I try to stay in the moment with those words and focusing completely on the sensations, the moment, the breath of whatever I’m doing. It is so easy to let the mind wander off and we can’t really appreciate all that is happening in the moment. If I get off track… I say those words to myself: Be Here Now.

– Ellen Borowka, MA, Lighthouse Consulting Services

Here are some other ways to find and expand your peace:

Stress management ideas
https://lighthouseconsulting.com/managing-stress/
https://lighthouseconsulting.com/feeling-burdened/

Preparing Your Thought for the Day by Paul David Walker
https://lighthouseconsulting.com/preparing-your-thought-for-the-day/

MARC (UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center)
Great ideas for guided meditation/mindfulness – be sure to check out their video for introduction to meditation
http://marc.ucla.edu/default.cfm?id=1

For a limited time, Headspace (meditation app) is offering free subscriptions to 1) anyone who is unemployed (https://www.headspace.com/unemployed) and 2) anyone who lives in LA County (https://help.headspace.com/hc/en-us/articles/360046874573-Headspace-for-Los-Angeles-County-Residents).

Calm is also a great app, they have a variety of meditations on youtube and free resources too (https://blog.calm.com/blog/free-resources).  Hope this helps you to find some peace and support.

Permission is needed from Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC to reproduce any portion provided in this article. © 2020 This information contained in this article is not meant to be a substitute for professional counseling.

Larry Cassidy has been a Group Chair with Vistage International (formerly TEC International) for over 28 years. He works monthly with more than 40 Southern California executives, in two chief executive groups and one group of key executives. Larry has facilitated over 1400 executive advisory group meetings, and has participated with chief executives in over 13,000 coaching discussions regarding all aspects of their businesses. Larry has received recognition for his work as a Group Chair, including multiple Chair Excellence Awards, the Star Award, designation as a Master Chair, and the Don Cope Award, the highest recognition given to active Chairs. You can contact Larry by phone (714) 424-9443 (work) or email larry.cassidy@vistagechair.com.

Bob Dabic is a “Master Chair” (business/life coach) of Vistage Chief Executive & Key Executive Groups in the California Counties of Orange, Los Angeles & Riverside, a “Best Practice Chair” responsible for chairs & members in the Los Angeles area, & a Lead Trainer of new & existing chairs. In addition, Bob is CEO (Coaching Excellence Officer) of DabiCoaching, a multi-purpose coaching/training/consulting company. In this role, Bob will also do coaching of clients, as well as conduct numerous workshops on the topics of: vision/mission/values creation, strategic planning, goal setting, leadership, communication, delegation, finance, selling, process improvement (TQM), and career development planning. Prior to taking on the above roles, Bob was a successful owner, president & CEO of several airport and aerospace equipment design & manufacturing companies over a 30-year period. For the last 6½ years in the day-to-day operating role, he was a member of a Vistage CEO group. Bob was also director of marketing for an alarm manufacturer and worked in a sales role with Xerox Corporation right after graduating from California State University at Long Beach with a B.S. Degree in Business Administration/ Marketing. Please feel free to contact Bob at (949) 376-8600 or bob.dabic@vistagechair.com.

Tom Drucker is President of Consultants in Corporate Innovation and Vice President of Transitioning to Green. He is unique because he integrates the principles of positive psychology and advances in Mindfulness with best practices of global business, including Sustainability and Innovation. Today he serves as a trusted advisor on Innovation, Sustainability, Leadership and Governance to owners and leaders of every type and size of business: helping them grow profits, solve people and business problems, bringing new ideas to market by designing off sites and strategic planning sessions or having really powerful conversations. He began his business career working directly for the Chairman of Xerox Corporation (the only person who could keep Tom away from the beach for 15 years). During that time, he ran a global division focused on developing strategies and designing new leadership models for the corporation that Xerox is today. Tom received his first graduate degree in Clinical Psychology from UCLA while working with and being mentored by Viktor Frankl in Vienna and then by Abraham Maslow, who Tom says, pushed him to go to UCLA’s business school. There he pursued a PhD studying Change Management, his dissertation was on which leadership style was best to sustain long-term organizational change. You can contact Tom by email tom@corporateinnovation.com or phone 310-306-2066.

Ken Keller is a syndicated business columnist focused on the leadership needs of small and midsize closely held companies. Feel free to email Ken at kenkeller@sbcglobal.net or call or text at 661-645-7086.

Gary Lockwood specializes in helping Chief Executives, entrepreneurs and business professionals achieve breakthroughs in their business. Contact Gary at 951-642-9576 or Gary@BizSuccess.com.

Don Pierro has been coaching and consulting to leaders and teams in businesses and non-profits for more than thirty years. He was the owner and president of three private companies in three different industries all of which were successfully developed and acquired by larger firms. In 2004, Don founded Empower Lab Coaching Group to fully engage his passion for catalyzing leaders to create a strategic vision and inspiring them to accomplish it. Don is a Chair with Vistage International providing mentoring and facilitation for peer advisory groups of CEO’s and business owners. He has been successful across a variety of industries and professions facilitating change and leadership development. Don is a board certified coach with the Center for Credentialing and Education (CCE), and a certified transformational trainer with the Leadership Training and Development Group (LTDG). His education includes a Masters Degree in Leadership from Azusa Pacific University, a Coro Fellowship in Public Sector Leadership, and a BA in economics from UCLA. You can contact Don by phone 626-385-7155 or email don.pierro@vistagechair.com.

Boaz Rauchwerger is an internationally-known speaker, author, consultant and author. A former television producer, newscaster, and advertising executive, he is the Speaker of the Year for Vistage International, the world’s largest organization of CEOs. Feel free to contact Boaz by phone 619-723-3007 or email BoazPower@aol.com.

George Walker, Vistage Chair [Coach for Business Owners and Executives] with extensive experience as an operations manager [oil refining] and a corporate executive [health environment safety and public policy for Fortune 500 Integrated Oil Company] Specialties: Working with business owners to take their businesses to the next level, Dealing with diverse stakeholders on environmental issues, organizational design, hiring the right people, setting goals collaboratively to maximize success of the enterprise. An engineer by education, George had a 36 year career with Unocal. He spent 24 years in the refining division followed by 12 years as a corporate officer. He retired from Unocal as Vice President for Public Policy, Health, Environment & Safety. After retirement from Unocal, George had consulting assignments with the Nature Conservancy and Pacific Gas & Electric. Now, he devotes his time and energy to coaching business owners – helping them to grow their businesses and find work/life balance. He uses the Vistage model that involves Group Meetings as well as individual coaching sessions. You can contact George by phone (310) 990-9003 or email george.walker@vistagechair.com.

Paul David Walker, CEO and Founder of Genius Stone Partners, is one of the early innovators of leadership consulting and coaching at the executive level. For more than thirty years, he has successfully guided the CEOs and senior executive teams of such Fortune 500 and mid-sized companies as New York Life, Mutual of Omaha, Chase GIS, Finance One, VONS Grocery, Pacific Mutual, Rockwell International, Conexant Systems, Harrods, Anne Klein, Union Pacific, StarKist, The City of Long Beach, Long Beach Fire Department, Culver Studios, Shout Factory, Lazy Dog Restaurant and Bar, NTS, Archstone Foundation, The Queen Mary and many other thriving organizations. He is author of Invent Your Future-Starting With Your Calling and Unleashing Genius: Leading Yourself, Teams, and Corporations. He specializes in building teams of leaders committed to each other’s success and the success of the business. Feel free to contact Paul by email pauldavidwalker@geniusstone.com or his cell 562-233-7861.

If you would like additional information on this topic or others, please contact your Human Resources department or Lighthouse Consulting Services LLC, 3130 Wilshire Blvd., Suite 550, Santa Monica, CA 90403, (310) 453-6556, dana@lighthouseconsulting.com & our website: www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Lighthouse Consulting Services, LLC provides a variety of services, including in-depth work style assessments for new hires & staff development. LCS can test in 19 different languages, provide domestic and international interpersonal coaching and offer a variety of workshops – team building, interpersonal communication and stress management.

To order the books, “Cracking the Personality Code” and “Cracking the Business Code” please go to www.lighthouseconsulting.com.

Our Sino-Am Leadership Program helps executives excel when stationed outside their home country. American managers in Asia and Asian managers in America face considerable business, personal, and leadership challenges because of the cultural differences. This unique program provides personal, one-on-one coaching. For more information visit, https://lighthouseconsulting.com/performance-management/talent-development/sino-american-management-style/.